I'm a girl and everytime I make the 1st step I get rejected!

Hi I'm new on reddit and I want to ask you for your opinion about girls making the first move. I don't like to sound like I want to get in a relationship at all costs but it's normal for a girl my age to start thinking about love and relationship experiences. I'm 23 and the last time I dated was in highschool 7 years ago, it was also my first time and it lasted 4 years ( I was a teenager so now I don't take that one seriously). I've been in college for four years but I never went out on a real date. I always have crushes but even when I try to befriend someone I like, they end up friendzoning me everytime and I'm not sure how I should behave as a girl. They say guys always make the 1st move but they also talk about "true love" , choosing each other, giving yourself a chance .. but how am I supposed to do that if all I should do is waiting for the right guy to try hard to get me! Some would say it's 2020 and there is no such thing like guys should ask first, I agree but it doesn't work with all the guys I like ! It's like the whole thing loses its magic when a girl shows she is interested in a guy. When they sense you started catching feelings for them, they would think you already exposed your personality and there is nothing to seek or discover. Two months ago I talked to a guy from my uni, things looked perfect to me at first, we chatted, talked on the phone and went out 2 times. I did nothing wrong but he just "didn't feel it" when I asked a couple weeks later what were we ( bcuz I wasn't sure as we kept flirting and talking all day long). We're still friends now and I'm no longer interested in him as well but it affected my self esteem in some way. I started doubting myself and asking questions like maybe I'm not beautiful enough or i'm not funny.. also i'm afraid of making the 1st move again = probable rejection and friendzone. I feel like I dont wanna do it anymore but I also think that maybe the guys I like would never like me back and I'd have to settle for less and maybe one day marry someone I don't think is as good as me. Because yes, I might sound daramatic and down but I actually have many qualities it's just that people don't notice me immediatly. Hopefully knowing some of your experiences and thoughts would help me understand what i'm going through.

Submitted April 26, 2020 at 11:55PM

Hi I'm new on reddit and I want to ask you for your opinion about girls making the first move. I don't like to sound like I want to get in a relationship at all costs but it's normal for a girl my age to start thinking about love and relationship experiences. I'm 23 and the last time I dated was in highschool 7 years ago, it was also my first time and it lasted 4 years ( I was a teenager so now I don't take that one seriously). I've been in college for four years but I never went out on a real date. I always have crushes but even when I try to befriend someone I like, they end up friendzoning me everytime and I'm not sure how I should behave as a girl. They say guys always make the 1st move but they also talk about "true love" , choosing each other, giving yourself a chance .. but how am I supposed to do that if all I should do is waiting for the right guy to try hard to get me! Some would say it's 2020 and there is no such thing like guys should ask first, I agree but it doesn't work with all the guys I like ! It's like the whole thing loses its magic when a girl shows she is interested in a guy. When they sense you started catching feelings for them, they would think you already exposed your personality and there is nothing to seek or discover. Two months ago I talked to a guy from my uni, things looked perfect to me at first, we chatted, talked on the phone and went out 2 times. I did nothing wrong but he just "didn't feel it" when I asked a couple weeks later what were we ( bcuz I wasn't sure as we kept flirting and talking all day long). We're still friends now and I'm no longer interested in him as well but it affected my self esteem in some way. I started doubting myself and asking questions like maybe I'm not beautiful enough or i'm not funny.. also i'm afraid of making the 1st move again = probable rejection and friendzone. I feel like I dont wanna do it anymore but I also think that maybe the guys I like would never like me back and I'd have to settle for less and maybe one day marry someone I don't think is as good as me. Because yes, I might sound daramatic and down but I actually have many qualities it's just that people don't notice me immediatly. Hopefully knowing some of your experiences and thoughts would help me understand what i'm going through.