Am I playing the victim or is this abusive?

This was a few weeks ago but I can’t get over it. Usually at our house I do most of the cleaning, all the grocery shopping, I work full time, it’s my responsibility to put food on the table for dinner, I make the lunches too and also put cute notes on his. This week I just couldn’t. I felt depleted and overwhelmed. I spend a lot of time in bed sorta depressed. He would come in and encourage me to get up and do something, but I didn’t get up. I hadn’t been eating either because I felt so down. That’s when this happened I was going to sleep and sent him a heart trying to let him know I loved him even though I wasn’t feeling that great.

Me “❤️” Him “piss off” Me “wtf 😳” I thought he messaged the wrong person… Me “fuck you” Him “Fuck you” “You’ve been a useless piece of shit to me this week” “I’ve made every effort to spend time with you” “You can’t even buy Goddamn groceries and now I’m covered in soda trying to get something to eat”

I was in tears. I couldn’t take another hateful message. I blocked him, so I could sleep, and not have my phone blowing up with hate. A few minutes later my phone lit up saying he had turned my phone service off. I freaked out I was so scared. I pulled some clothes on, grabbed a blanket and some water and ran to my car. He pulled in and parked. I moved my car after he walked in the building. He somehow used Find my IPhone to send a message to my phone calling me a coward for hiding and that I should come back and talk. I was scared because I couldn’t call anyone besides the police if I needed to. I slept in my car that night if you wanna call it sleeping. I’ve tried talking to him since this happened. I explained that canceling my phone service like that was isolating, abusive, and controlling. His view is that he was exercising his right to not pay for something if he wasn’t getting the benefit out of it. We make the same amount of money and we share a bank account so it’s my money too paying the phone bill. He say’s I’m spoiled and playing the victim. Sorry if there’s any bad grammar or spelling I’m writing this on my phone.

Submitted September 20, 2021 at 12:15AM

This was a few weeks ago but I can’t get over it. Usually at our house I do most of the cleaning, all the grocery shopping, I work full time, it’s my responsibility to put food on the table for dinner, I make the lunches too and also put cute notes on his. This week I just couldn’t. I felt depleted and overwhelmed. I spend a lot of time in bed sorta depressed. He would come in and encourage me to get up and do something, but I didn’t get up. I hadn’t been eating either because I felt so down. That’s when this happened I was going to sleep and sent him a heart trying to let him know I loved him even though I wasn’t feeling that great.Me “❤️” Him “piss off” Me “wtf 😳” I thought he messaged the wrong person… Me “fuck you” Him “Fuck you” “You’ve been a useless piece of shit to me this week” “I’ve made every effort to spend time with you” “You can’t even buy Goddamn groceries and now I’m covered in soda trying to get something to eat”I was in tears. I couldn’t take another hateful message. I blocked him, so I could sleep, and not have my phone blowing up with hate. A few minutes later my phone lit up saying he had turned my phone service off. I freaked out I was so scared. I pulled some clothes on, grabbed a blanket and some water and ran to my car. He pulled in and parked. I moved my car after he walked in the building. He somehow used Find my IPhone to send a message to my phone calling me a coward for hiding and that I should come back and talk. I was scared because I couldn’t call anyone besides the police if I needed to. I slept in my car that night if you wanna call it sleeping. I’ve tried talking to him since this happened. I explained that canceling my phone service like that was isolating, abusive, and controlling. His view is that he was exercising his right to not pay for something if he wasn’t getting the benefit out of it. We make the same amount of money and we share a bank account so it’s my money too paying the phone bill. He say’s I’m spoiled and playing the victim. Sorry if there’s any bad grammar or spelling I’m writing this on my phone.