Being Too Harsh Critiquing Myself After Sex

I’m 21 years old, and have done this since I lost my virginity. Regardless of whether I’m in a relationship or single and hooking up, I find that I’ve set very unrealistic standards when it comes for my sexual performance, and sometime can’t make good on them. For example, I have a rule that I won’t finish until the woman I’m involved with has finished at least once, preferably more; or a rule that positional changes need to be frequent if the girl isn’t moaning. If I don’t get the girl to finish by the time we’re tired out, I just refuse to finish, even on my own, as if I haven’t earned it. To give context, I am very dominant, I am honest and up front with things like size, and always under-promise, and do my best to over-deliver in terms of what will take place during an encounter, so there’s no unannounced expectations. Any tips for being less harsh? Is what I’m doing normal? Is this considered toxic even though it’s against myself?

Submitted September 20, 2021 at 12:43AM

I’m 21 years old, and have done this since I lost my virginity. Regardless of whether I’m in a relationship or single and hooking up, I find that I’ve set very unrealistic standards when it comes for my sexual performance, and sometime can’t make good on them. For example, I have a rule that I won’t finish until the woman I’m involved with has finished at least once, preferably more; or a rule that positional changes need to be frequent if the girl isn’t moaning. If I don’t get the girl to finish by the time we’re tired out, I just refuse to finish, even on my own, as if I haven’t earned it. To give context, I am very dominant, I am honest and up front with things like size, and always under-promise, and do my best to over-deliver in terms of what will take place during an encounter, so there’s no unannounced expectations. Any tips for being less harsh? Is what I’m doing normal? Is this considered toxic even though it’s against myself?