I’m (f32) stuck with bf of 6 years (m32) and can’t see a way out

Apologies, it’s a long one! TL:DR at the end. See post history for more context.

I got ill in February and had to leave my job. After getting a little better my SO suggested that now would be a good time to get a puppy, I was at home without full time work and some friends of ours had puppies for sale.

I agreed, since then I have found out the following:

  1. He pays for webcam girls despite there being a problem with our sex life (and before anyone comments, it’s not about me. We’ve discussed this at length, and I am by no means frigid or uncomfortable to do what he likes, nor has my appearance changed drastically) he knows that I consider this cheating. After finding out the first time, and telling him that I consider that too personal and cheating, he did it again.
  2. His gambling addiction has returned and he didn’t tell me, and has repeatedly lied to cover his tracks. He has put us in debt again with this.

He has been caught out lying about all this repeatedly over 6 months, has never told me anything- he was always caught out by accident.

Because I’m not working I have no spare money, we have a puppy and 2 cats which I would have to take with me as I don’t trust him to look after them properly (his work hours are demanding, not because he doesn’t care).

So I have no money and no where to go, family is unfortunately not an option and no friends could house myself and all the pets. The puppy is too young for me to go back to work full time to save money. He doesn’t abuse me physically and despite him being a complete twat, he’s not a bad person so appealing to ‘women’s shelters ‘ is also not an option.

I’m stuck and have to depend on the man who broke my heart to get by financially.

Honestly don’t know what to do.

TL;DR stuck with gambling, cheating bf and have no where to go.



Submitted August 05, 2019 at 11:49PM

Apologies, it’s a long one! TL:DR at the end. See post history for more context.I got ill in February and had to leave my job. After getting a little better my SO suggested that now would be a good time to get a puppy, I was at home without full time work and some friends of ours had puppies for sale.I agreed, since then I have found out the following:He pays for webcam girls despite there being a problem with our sex life (and before anyone comments, it’s not about me. We’ve discussed this at length, and I am by no means frigid or uncomfortable to do what he likes, nor has my appearance changed drastically) he knows that I consider this cheating. After finding out the first time, and telling him that I consider that too personal and cheating, he did it again.His gambling addiction has returned and he didn’t tell me, and has repeatedly lied to cover his tracks. He has put us in debt again with this.He has been caught out lying about all this repeatedly over 6 months, has never told me anything- he was always caught out by accident.Because I’m not working I have no spare money, we have a puppy and 2 cats which I would have to take with me as I don’t trust him to look after them properly (his work hours are demanding, not because he doesn’t care).So I have no money and no where to go, family is unfortunately not an option and no friends could house myself and all the pets. The puppy is too young for me to go back to work full time to save money. He doesn’t abuse me physically and despite him being a complete twat, he’s not a bad person so appealing to ‘women’s shelters ‘ is also not an option.I’m stuck and have to depend on the man who broke my heart to get by financially.Honestly don’t know what to do.TL;DR stuck with gambling, cheating bf and have no where to go.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Add Comments, Posts, Links... etc.

Popular posts from this blog

The difference between being right and being understood

My boyfriend and I are 28. We’ve been together for about 1.5 years and recently moved in together. He’s a pretty patient and easygoing person (Type B) whereas I’m more particular (Type A). Of course there are two sides to every trait, and my Type A nature benefits us in some ways too. Like all couples, we have differences in perspective or preference. When this happens, he will usually say something like “I disagree (with your perspective) but fine.” I tend to push the issue in an attempt to get him to understand where I’m coming from. This escalates the disagreement into a fight because he perceives it as me trying to be “right”. I truly just want to be understood (and I want to understand where he’s coming from) so I’m looking for more of a dialogue whereas he avoids conflict and just wants it to be over as quickly as possible. His general approach is “agree to disagree” but that doesn’t make sense to me when it’s an issue that will keep coming up and requires compromise. I’m n...
Read more

My (27f) gf (27f) is getting tired of me not sharing intimate/ personal info about me

I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love with her, however I can not seem to open up... and I can tell it’s frustrating to her by the way she tells me it bothers her that she feels she’s the only one committed and the one that’s always sharing... At this point I don’t even know if it is that I’ve gotten too used to it, to the point I’ve became lazy to talk about myself or give any genuine personal opinion... it sucks, really, I need to communicate better... Where do I start? Tl;dr: I can’t be completely intimate with my gf and its frustrating her, I need to communicate better because I really love her... where to start? Submitted April 25, 2019 at 06:02AM I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love ...
Read more

My (23M) girlfriend (25F) relationship is confusing to me. I might be the problem, or maybe we are just incompatible.

I met my girlfriend after a few serious breakups that led me to change both intentionally and unintentionally over a few years. For better and for worse. She had just gotten out of an engagement with a verbally and physically abusive man who had a cocaine problem. We have been together about 8 months now. We hit it off and spent a lot of time together but she began to push our relationship as if there were a time clock for milestones. I was pressed beyond my comfort zone and went with it because of my affection for her. My living situation fell apart and I lost a few thousand dollars to shit roommates right around the time she and I met and she offered to let me stay with her. I agreed with some resistance. I pay for food, help her with bills, and throw money toward rent while trying to get back on my feet. As long as we have been together she has gotten more possessive, angry, and irrational. She is dealing with shit from her engagement and I feel shes looking for a level of seriou...
Read more