Ghosting or being suddenly ignored for no apparent reason.

Long story short, I'm two years out from a divorce and was with my ex for almost 8 years total. I've been working a shit ton of overtime since then and pretty much saw an opportunity for a social life disappear. I've always had a hard time getting to know people and making any sort of meaningful relationship last and I now find myself, at 40, alone with no friends or dependable social skills. I'm incredibly shy and awkward around strangers and have started to feel like I'm just not good enough for anyone.

I've been trying to get involved with various groups, but I struggle to get myself motivated and I rarely encounter people I feel any connection with. I'm not at all religious, so church is out of the question. I'd like to try getting involved with any kind of social or political awareness activities, but again I'm socially awkward.

Meeting women organically has never worked for me and these days I have no idea what is even acceptable when it comes to trying to impress someone. I've always been more comfortable with OLD, although I haven't really dated much at all. My 2nd longest relationship was just under two years. That being said, I'm not all that experienced and being somewhat particular in what I'm looking for, I would much rather search amongst a pool of single women who are actively looking to meet someone.

Unfortunately, I rarely find many appealing women in my area. I'm not only going after super models and I'm not looking for a sugar mama. I have always been an indoor kid, a geek, a fan of obscure movies, television, and music. I still play videogames and like comic book movies. I have no interest in sports or most outdoorsy activities. I'm socially liberal and staunchly atheistic. I do like kids, but I have little interest in having any of my own and I'm not really thrilled about the idea of dating a woman with multiple children.

I know there are women out there who do appeal to me intellectually as well as physically, but they rarely are interested in me. I usually only get "likes" from women I find no attraction for period. The few times I manage to get an actual match, they never respond to any messages or they will talk a little bit and then suddenly stop replying.

I've been catfished by a cam girl and led on for months by a woman who I could not convince to at least meet me for coffee. I can be quite flirtatious and charming and I like to think I have a healthy sense of humor, but women still just lose interest in me and go silent. One woman, gave me her number the very same day we matched. We went out for dinner and then, before I dropped her off, we made out for a bit. She said to stay in touch, but ultimately never spoke to me again.

Recently, I matched with a younger woman a week ago and we hit it off immediately. She gave me her number and we've been talking on a daily basis. I'm not one for crass or lewd conversation, but I'm good with playful innuendo and can be accommodating to a fault. This woman started aggressively flirting with me and talking about how she really wanted to be with me ASAP. The conversation definitely turned sexual, but again, not vulgar.

She then suggested meeting over the weekend and she said she'd like to come to my place and watch a movie, although she said she may have trouble paying attention to it. I haven't really moved that fast with the few women I've dated, but I told this girl that I'd be happy to see her either way and would not get upset if she changed her mind about sleeping with me so soon.

We settled on having her come over on Sunday, but she suddenly stopped replying to me on Saturday afternoon. I texted her the next morning and still got no response. About 3 hours later, I sent her a message again, basically saying I understood if things were moving too fast and would be happy to meet in public for lunch. I also said that if she had in fact changed her mind completely, I'd lose her number and move on.

She quickly responded, saying she was waiting on her ex-husband to arrive to pick up their daughter, but hadn't heard from him yet. She also said she would never ghost me like that We talked a little more and I asked what sort of movie she'd like to watch. After that, no response, hours passed, and by 9 pm, I sent her a text saying we could try again for another weekend, but I had work at six the following morning, so it was too late by that time. No response.

I tried once more this morning, around ten, she had texted me herself a few times around then previously, to ask what happened last night. No response. Her shift at work ends around five and it's now after seven, still no reply. I'm going to leave the ball in her court for now and hope that she hasn't lost all interest, but this keeps happening and I'm getting incredibly discouraged. My dad was just a little younger than me when my parents divorced and he never dated or got married again. He's lived in the same apartment for over 20 years and just watches TV all day. I'm terrified that my fate will be the same and the constant false starts and rejections are getting to be more than I can handle.

I can't even rely on apps or sites that are designed simply for sex. I've even struck out on the r4r subs. It's like I'm vaginal kryptonite. I've tried asking for advice, but have more or less been told everything I do is wrong. I have no idea what even to do or say if I ever get another match. I can try to be as positive and as honest as possible, without getting into the weeds of my psyche, but it always ends in disappointment. One of the last dates I had, ended with the girl wanting me to give her money while she went to school.

My ability to trust is more or less gone and I've lost all confidence in myself. I know I'm not perfect nor am I (insert attractive male celebrity here), but I am a somewhat intelligent person. I like a wide variety of things and am comfortable with my emotions. None of that seems to matter. Most profiles are asking for men who polyamorous, pansexual, 420 friendly, and big fans of microbreweries.

It's as if I'm just too boring and vanilla and only good for a few interesting chats and nothing more.

Submitted August 05, 2019 at 11:39PM

Long story short, I'm two years out from a divorce and was with my ex for almost 8 years total. I've been working a shit ton of overtime since then and pretty much saw an opportunity for a social life disappear. I've always had a hard time getting to know people and making any sort of meaningful relationship last and I now find myself, at 40, alone with no friends or dependable social skills. I'm incredibly shy and awkward around strangers and have started to feel like I'm just not good enough for anyone.I've been trying to get involved with various groups, but I struggle to get myself motivated and I rarely encounter people I feel any connection with. I'm not at all religious, so church is out of the question. I'd like to try getting involved with any kind of social or political awareness activities, but again I'm socially awkward.Meeting women organically has never worked for me and these days I have no idea what is even acceptable when it comes to trying to impress someone. I've always been more comfortable with OLD, although I haven't really dated much at all. My 2nd longest relationship was just under two years. That being said, I'm not all that experienced and being somewhat particular in what I'm looking for, I would much rather search amongst a pool of single women who are actively looking to meet someone.Unfortunately, I rarely find many appealing women in my area. I'm not only going after super models and I'm not looking for a sugar mama. I have always been an indoor kid, a geek, a fan of obscure movies, television, and music. I still play videogames and like comic book movies. I have no interest in sports or most outdoorsy activities. I'm socially liberal and staunchly atheistic. I do like kids, but I have little interest in having any of my own and I'm not really thrilled about the idea of dating a woman with multiple children.I know there are women out there who do appeal to me intellectually as well as physically, but they rarely are interested in me. I usually only get "likes" from women I find no attraction for period. The few times I manage to get an actual match, they never respond to any messages or they will talk a little bit and then suddenly stop replying.I've been catfished by a cam girl and led on for months by a woman who I could not convince to at least meet me for coffee. I can be quite flirtatious and charming and I like to think I have a healthy sense of humor, but women still just lose interest in me and go silent. One woman, gave me her number the very same day we matched. We went out for dinner and then, before I dropped her off, we made out for a bit. She said to stay in touch, but ultimately never spoke to me again.Recently, I matched with a younger woman a week ago and we hit it off immediately. She gave me her number and we've been talking on a daily basis. I'm not one for crass or lewd conversation, but I'm good with playful innuendo and can be accommodating to a fault. This woman started aggressively flirting with me and talking about how she really wanted to be with me ASAP. The conversation definitely turned sexual, but again, not vulgar.She then suggested meeting over the weekend and she said she'd like to come to my place and watch a movie, although she said she may have trouble paying attention to it. I haven't really moved that fast with the few women I've dated, but I told this girl that I'd be happy to see her either way and would not get upset if she changed her mind about sleeping with me so soon.We settled on having her come over on Sunday, but she suddenly stopped replying to me on Saturday afternoon. I texted her the next morning and still got no response. About 3 hours later, I sent her a message again, basically saying I understood if things were moving too fast and would be happy to meet in public for lunch. I also said that if she had in fact changed her mind completely, I'd lose her number and move on.She quickly responded, saying she was waiting on her ex-husband to arrive to pick up their daughter, but hadn't heard from him yet. She also said she would never ghost me like that We talked a little more and I asked what sort of movie she'd like to watch. After that, no response, hours passed, and by 9 pm, I sent her a text saying we could try again for another weekend, but I had work at six the following morning, so it was too late by that time. No response.I tried once more this morning, around ten, she had texted me herself a few times around then previously, to ask what happened last night. No response. Her shift at work ends around five and it's now after seven, still no reply. I'm going to leave the ball in her court for now and hope that she hasn't lost all interest, but this keeps happening and I'm getting incredibly discouraged. My dad was just a little younger than me when my parents divorced and he never dated or got married again. He's lived in the same apartment for over 20 years and just watches TV all day. I'm terrified that my fate will be the same and the constant false starts and rejections are getting to be more than I can handle.I can't even rely on apps or sites that are designed simply for sex. I've even struck out on the r4r subs. It's like I'm vaginal kryptonite. I've tried asking for advice, but have more or less been told everything I do is wrong. I have no idea what even to do or say if I ever get another match. I can try to be as positive and as honest as possible, without getting into the weeds of my psyche, but it always ends in disappointment. One of the last dates I had, ended with the girl wanting me to give her money while she went to school.My ability to trust is more or less gone and I've lost all confidence in myself. I know I'm not perfect nor am I (insert attractive male celebrity here), but I am a somewhat intelligent person. I like a wide variety of things and am comfortable with my emotions. None of that seems to matter. Most profiles are asking for men who polyamorous, pansexual, 420 friendly, and big fans of microbreweries.It's as if I'm just too boring and vanilla and only good for a few interesting chats and nothing more.