I [23/f] can’t handle my boyfriends [26] mood swings.

My boyfriend lost his brother a little under a year ago. Every two weeks or so, he will get into these really bad moods where he’s a complete ass. I try to console him and let him know that I’m here if he needs to talk but he does this frustrating thing where he doesn’t want attention but when you don’t give it to him he will get even more irritated. I’ll ask him “hey do you want to be left alone for a while?” And I either get an “idk” or a “stop”. If I continue to talk to him while he’s in his mood he just answers in 1-2 word answers. I have no idea what I can do when he’s in this state, it seems like whatever I do is wrong.

Tbh I’m getting pretty tired of it. I understand he’s still grieving but I don’t deserve to be treated like crap. He won’t tell me what exactly is wrong and what I can do to help him or not help him. I don’t deserve to be treated wrong every couple of weeks.

If I bring it up then he will spin it on me and use his brother as an excuse so he corners me to where I don’t have a rebuttal. At this point i’m tired of constantly giving him a pass with his bad behavior because it’s only getting worse. We made a safe word where if either of us gets stressed out from a conversation we say “banana”, but every time I tell him something or express what I’m feeling I get hit with “banana”. If it’s not something he wants to talk about then the conversation is over. I have to walk on eggshells and idk if I can do it anymore.

Maybe someone can give me some tips, I feel like I’ve tried everything.

Tl;dr: I can’t handle my boyfriends mood swings

Submitted April 05, 2019 at 08:24PM

My boyfriend lost his brother a little under a year ago. Every two weeks or so, he will get into these really bad moods where he’s a complete ass. I try to console him and let him know that I’m here if he needs to talk but he does this frustrating thing where he doesn’t want attention but when you don’t give it to him he will get even more irritated. I’ll ask him “hey do you want to be left alone for a while?” And I either get an “idk” or a “stop”. If I continue to talk to him while he’s in his mood he just answers in 1-2 word answers. I have no idea what I can do when he’s in this state, it seems like whatever I do is wrong.Tbh I’m getting pretty tired of it. I understand he’s still grieving but I don’t deserve to be treated like crap. He won’t tell me what exactly is wrong and what I can do to help him or not help him. I don’t deserve to be treated wrong every couple of weeks.If I bring it up then he will spin it on me and use his brother as an excuse so he corners me to where I don’t have a rebuttal. At this point i’m tired of constantly giving him a pass with his bad behavior because it’s only getting worse. We made a safe word where if either of us gets stressed out from a conversation we say “banana”, but every time I tell him something or express what I’m feeling I get hit with “banana”. If it’s not something he wants to talk about then the conversation is over. I have to walk on eggshells and idk if I can do it anymore.Maybe someone can give me some tips, I feel like I’ve tried everything.Tl;dr: I can’t handle my boyfriends mood swings