Me [19 M] with my Dad [65 M] does not want me to move out despite the challenges it causes me

Me [19 M] with my Dad [65 M] does not want me to move out despite the challenges it causes me.

I have a close relationship with my father except on the fact that he has more old fashioned views. I recently just crashed my car which was my only way of getting to school. I live about an hour and fifteen minutes away from school and this is with good traffic. I have better jobs opportunities closer to school but I feel restricted with the limited transportation I have. I do have a bus run but it runs once every hour and the last bus ends right after class which makes it hard for me to even meet friends outside of class or go to a job downtown after class. Even so, I still find myself suffering from lack of sleep because of the long transit times.

Despite this, I have tried looking for housing closer to downtown. I found a few places that I can easily afford yet when I brought this up to my father he was displeased and started saying my friends are the reason why I want to move down etc. He insists on cooking and cleaning and doing most of my chores and as a result, I think I am missing out on my independence.

I could potentially ignore his commands and sever ties with my family and just move out but I feel conflicted as well. I still want to keep my familial ties but I don't want to be so controlled and limited. I find it hard to meet with friends outside of class and I can't do sleepovers or overnight cram sessions unless I lie to him.

What would be the best way to get my independence without cutting ties to my family?

TL:DR: My family controls me too much and I want to move out without breaking ties with them.

Submitted April 05, 2019 at 07:18PM

Me [19 M] with my Dad [65 M] does not want me to move out despite the challenges it causes me.I have a close relationship with my father except on the fact that he has more old fashioned views. I recently just crashed my car which was my only way of getting to school. I live about an hour and fifteen minutes away from school and this is with good traffic. I have better jobs opportunities closer to school but I feel restricted with the limited transportation I have. I do have a bus run but it runs once every hour and the last bus ends right after class which makes it hard for me to even meet friends outside of class or go to a job downtown after class. Even so, I still find myself suffering from lack of sleep because of the long transit times.Despite this, I have tried looking for housing closer to downtown. I found a few places that I can easily afford yet when I brought this up to my father he was displeased and started saying my friends are the reason why I want to move down etc. He insists on cooking and cleaning and doing most of my chores and as a result, I think I am missing out on my independence.I could potentially ignore his commands and sever ties with my family and just move out but I feel conflicted as well. I still want to keep my familial ties but I don't want to be so controlled and limited. I find it hard to meet with friends outside of class and I can't do sleepovers or overnight cram sessions unless I lie to him.What would be the best way to get my independence without cutting ties to my family?TL:DR: My family controls me too much and I want to move out without breaking ties with them.