Not sure why I got ghosted. Any theories from you all?

So I met this guy, he's 45, through mutual friends a couple of years ago. As I have previously stated in other posts, I am a devoted single girl in her forties, and I make sure men know this about me immediately so they don't try. This guy, though, had a wedding ring, talked about his wife and son, and so the pressure was off. He was someone I clicked with immediately, we had so much in common, and I was really happy to make a friend. As an aside, yes, he's gorgeous, and if you were to design a man for me, he'd be pretty close to it. But, again, he's married, and I am a single. So a friendship ensued. He did mention the night we met that his wife had recently opened up their marriage, and it put me off for a second, but he also said he wasn't participating in her little experiment. So it wasn't a come on. I told him that didn't sound like open marriage to me, that sounded like infidelity, but ok.

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He texted me a few times, about books he thought I'd like, or what our mutual friends were up to. Never anything untoward. We really didn't run into each other again, he was finishing his PhD, and really busy. The mutual friends and I had a minor falling out, I found out that they were swingers and I want no part of that lifestyle around me, so see ya.

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He texted me on Mardi Gras that year when he was out running around with the friends and his wife, but I didn't respond. I didn't hear from him again until a few months later when he showed up at a local festival and I was pretty drunk, which doesn't happen often. There was some fairly intense flirting happening that day, mostly from him. A few weeks later I get this text from him telling me that his wife has left him and taken their son. She has some fairly serious problems with sex addiction, so he was really worried. I was supportive, lots of phone calls throughout his divorce and custody process. No agenda at all from me, simply being a friend. I saw him a few times, always with his son, picking them up from the airport, hanging out at his house. Nothing frequent or serious at all. I sort of got the feeling he liked me, but this guy needed lots of time to get over what happened with his ex, and I really try not to get involved with men who have kids.

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Fast forward January of this year, he tells me that his ex is moving across the country and is trying to get sole custody of their son. He was freaked out. We had a few phone calls and I was again, very supportive. Then suddenly...nothing. I get a text saying please don't take his distance personally, he is dealing with a ton of shit. I completely understood, let him know I was there if he needed me, but that I was going to step back and not bother him much. I texted him a few times during Mardi Gras this year and when I was out, just to let him know he and his son were welcome. I watched parades a few blocks from his house! He rarely responded, except for one night when I was at parades near his house, and he responded to my text that he was picking up pizza and would be there shortly. Never showed. It can be easy to miss people at parades, it's so crowded and it's hard to find people. So I didn't think much of it. Texted him again a week later, "sorry we missed you at parades.". Nothing. No response. That was a month ago. I texted him a week ago, that I don't know what happened to alienate him, but that I'm sorry, and that I wish him well. Nothing.

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After two years of being friends with no problems. What the hell happened?

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TL;DR!-OP unsure of why she was ghosted.

Submitted April 05, 2019 at 08:17PM

So I met this guy, he's 45, through mutual friends a couple of years ago. As I have previously stated in other posts, I am a devoted single girl in her forties, and I make sure men know this about me immediately so they don't try. This guy, though, had a wedding ring, talked about his wife and son, and so the pressure was off. He was someone I clicked with immediately, we had so much in common, and I was really happy to make a friend. As an aside, yes, he's gorgeous, and if you were to design a man for me, he'd be pretty close to it. But, again, he's married, and I am a single. So a friendship ensued. He did mention the night we met that his wife had recently opened up their marriage, and it put me off for a second, but he also said he wasn't participating in her little experiment. So it wasn't a come on. I told him that didn't sound like open marriage to me, that sounded like infidelity, but ok.​He texted me a few times, about books he thought I'd like, or what our mutual friends were up to. Never anything untoward. We really didn't run into each other again, he was finishing his PhD, and really busy. The mutual friends and I had a minor falling out, I found out that they were swingers and I want no part of that lifestyle around me, so see ya.​He texted me on Mardi Gras that year when he was out running around with the friends and his wife, but I didn't respond. I didn't hear from him again until a few months later when he showed up at a local festival and I was pretty drunk, which doesn't happen often. There was some fairly intense flirting happening that day, mostly from him. A few weeks later I get this text from him telling me that his wife has left him and taken their son. She has some fairly serious problems with sex addiction, so he was really worried. I was supportive, lots of phone calls throughout his divorce and custody process. No agenda at all from me, simply being a friend. I saw him a few times, always with his son, picking them up from the airport, hanging out at his house. Nothing frequent or serious at all. I sort of got the feeling he liked me, but this guy needed lots of time to get over what happened with his ex, and I really try not to get involved with men who have kids.​Fast forward January of this year, he tells me that his ex is moving across the country and is trying to get sole custody of their son. He was freaked out. We had a few phone calls and I was again, very supportive. Then suddenly...nothing. I get a text saying please don't take his distance personally, he is dealing with a ton of shit. I completely understood, let him know I was there if he needed me, but that I was going to step back and not bother him much. I texted him a few times during Mardi Gras this year and when I was out, just to let him know he and his son were welcome. I watched parades a few blocks from his house! He rarely responded, except for one night when I was at parades near his house, and he responded to my text that he was picking up pizza and would be there shortly. Never showed. It can be easy to miss people at parades, it's so crowded and it's hard to find people. So I didn't think much of it. Texted him again a week later, "sorry we missed you at parades.". Nothing. No response. That was a month ago. I texted him a week ago, that I don't know what happened to alienate him, but that I'm sorry, and that I wish him well. Nothing.​After two years of being friends with no problems. What the hell happened?​TL;DR!-OP unsure of why she was ghosted.