I've become emotionally dependent on my girlfriend and it's affecting my happiness.

I'm a normally confident and happy guy. I love talking to people, I do well at my part time jobs and at school. I started dating my girlfriend around 5 to 6 months ago. The first few months were great. Everything was healthy and I was managing all my hobbies and responsibilities equally. Then we had Christmas break in college and we kept in touch almost everyday. Upon returning, though, my girlfriend was acting weird and said she doesn't feel like she wants a relationship. I said if that would be better for her, I'm all for it. The same night she came back to me in tears, apologizing for having done that. Ever since then our relationship hasn't been the same. She used to be more sensitive and I used to be the one reassuring her when she cried but it's become the opposite now. It's almost like I depend on her responses to my texts or whatever I say to feel validated. She doesn't respond as fast as she used to or send me anymore loving messages throughout the day. I've been consistent in providing as much affection as I can from the beginning. I'm getting more upset at little things and over-analyzing everything she does. She has been doing great though which I'm happy for. But I always feel a little passive aggressive when she doesn't clearly respond to things I say. I hate myself for it. I feel myself becoming a bad person and I want to change. We spoke about this last night and she reassured me and said I'm looking too deeply in things and if I keep doing that, everything she says or does will upset me. I recently learned I have anxiety type attachment and I feel like I may be overthinking things even more now. I definitely enjoy spending time with her as well as with others but when I'm away from her and even sometimes when I am with her I just feel weird. Nothing feels the same. And I have these bouts of sadness that just fall over me. I don't want any of this to affect anything else that I love doing. What should I do? How do I go about this?

TL:DR; I'm thinking about our relationship negatively more than I should for the simplest things and I'm worried it'll affect my life for the worse.



Submitted April 05, 2019 at 06:51PM

I'm a normally confident and happy guy. I love talking to people, I do well at my part time jobs and at school. I started dating my girlfriend around 5 to 6 months ago. The first few months were great. Everything was healthy and I was managing all my hobbies and responsibilities equally. Then we had Christmas break in college and we kept in touch almost everyday. Upon returning, though, my girlfriend was acting weird and said she doesn't feel like she wants a relationship. I said if that would be better for her, I'm all for it. The same night she came back to me in tears, apologizing for having done that. Ever since then our relationship hasn't been the same. She used to be more sensitive and I used to be the one reassuring her when she cried but it's become the opposite now. It's almost like I depend on her responses to my texts or whatever I say to feel validated. She doesn't respond as fast as she used to or send me anymore loving messages throughout the day. I've been consistent in providing as much affection as I can from the beginning. I'm getting more upset at little things and over-analyzing everything she does. She has been doing great though which I'm happy for. But I always feel a little passive aggressive when she doesn't clearly respond to things I say. I hate myself for it. I feel myself becoming a bad person and I want to change. We spoke about this last night and she reassured me and said I'm looking too deeply in things and if I keep doing that, everything she says or does will upset me. I recently learned I have anxiety type attachment and I feel like I may be overthinking things even more now. I definitely enjoy spending time with her as well as with others but when I'm away from her and even sometimes when I am with her I just feel weird. Nothing feels the same. And I have these bouts of sadness that just fall over me. I don't want any of this to affect anything else that I love doing. What should I do? How do I go about this?TL:DR; I'm thinking about our relationship negatively more than I should for the simplest things and I'm worried it'll affect my life for the worse.
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