Boyfriend (30 M) blaming me (24 F) for being out when his dad was in the hospital and he was with his family (different city)

So I was at work today and my boyfriend called saying he had to travel to his home town because his dad was having an angioplasty done. Obviously, he was stressed, I talked to him for a bit and asked him to call/text me whenever he wanted to. He reached his home town in an hour, was in the hospital. I kept asking him to talk, how his dad was, how his family was holding up. My friends at work wanted to go to this restaurant, and I agreed to go with them because I didn't want to sit at one place and worry and keep calling my boyfriend up while he was with his family.

Even when I was at the restaurant, he called a few times and I kept asking him to talk, enquiring about everything ( went outside every time so I could talk to him properly). He said he was with his sisters, calling up family and informing them etc. His dad got through the surgery and was in the ICU under observation at this point. I told him to call whenever.

Fast forward to night when I come back home and ask him again and he says he doesn't want to tell me anything because I was out having a blast while he was there. I've been hearing for the last couple hours about what a shitty person I am and how he's given up everything for me, and that I couldn't even cancel my plans. I said I didn't want to sit alone in one room and keep worrying about him, and that I did make it very clear to him that I was there and he could call me at any time to talk . He said he didn't feel like calling me when I was out, and that I should've been more sensible and cancelled everything and be alone in a quiet place so he could talk to me. If he'd mentioned that when I was out I obviously would have left to talk to him, but my point of view was just to give me space to deal with things, be there for his family and just let him know that I was here whenever he needed to talk. He says if I really cared I would've kept calling or something.

I really don't understand this, but I've heard really horrible things about how insensitive and careless and selfish I am for hours now.

Just wanted to know if I'm that horrible to have gone to a restaurant instead of sitting alone in my room all evening.

TL;DR Boyfriend called me a horrible person and a lot of things over the phone for the last couple of hours because I went out for dinner with my colleagues while he was in the hospital with his family, even though I was always available to talk/text and just didn't call him constantly to give him space to be with his family.

Submitted April 05, 2019 at 07:48PM

So I was at work today and my boyfriend called saying he had to travel to his home town because his dad was having an angioplasty done. Obviously, he was stressed, I talked to him for a bit and asked him to call/text me whenever he wanted to. He reached his home town in an hour, was in the hospital. I kept asking him to talk, how his dad was, how his family was holding up. My friends at work wanted to go to this restaurant, and I agreed to go with them because I didn't want to sit at one place and worry and keep calling my boyfriend up while he was with his family.Even when I was at the restaurant, he called a few times and I kept asking him to talk, enquiring about everything ( went outside every time so I could talk to him properly). He said he was with his sisters, calling up family and informing them etc. His dad got through the surgery and was in the ICU under observation at this point. I told him to call whenever.Fast forward to night when I come back home and ask him again and he says he doesn't want to tell me anything because I was out having a blast while he was there. I've been hearing for the last couple hours about what a shitty person I am and how he's given up everything for me, and that I couldn't even cancel my plans. I said I didn't want to sit alone in one room and keep worrying about him, and that I did make it very clear to him that I was there and he could call me at any time to talk . He said he didn't feel like calling me when I was out, and that I should've been more sensible and cancelled everything and be alone in a quiet place so he could talk to me. If he'd mentioned that when I was out I obviously would have left to talk to him, but my point of view was just to give me space to deal with things, be there for his family and just let him know that I was here whenever he needed to talk. He says if I really cared I would've kept calling or something.I really don't understand this, but I've heard really horrible things about how insensitive and careless and selfish I am for hours now.Just wanted to know if I'm that horrible to have gone to a restaurant instead of sitting alone in my room all evening.TL;DR Boyfriend called me a horrible person and a lot of things over the phone for the last couple of hours because I went out for dinner with my colleagues while he was in the hospital with his family, even though I was always available to talk/text and just didn't call him constantly to give him space to be with his family.