I can't have a relationship 

 I (22M) met this lovely young lady (20F) that is currently in school. She is military like me, and she is just fucking amazing. I dont know how she isn't in a relationship yet. Everything I want she has. I just told her that I can't start anything with her cause I can't control my feelings that well. I am legit scared shitless to be hurt again (Cheated on by someone who I love with all my heart). I can't let myself get to far cause it'll drive me fucking crazy. I'm paranoid as fuck every time someone that can make me better as a person comes into my life. I NEED help to overcome this agonizing fear of getting fucked over. Cause I know it will break me like my last relationship did if I were to get hurt again. I know this stems from how I was raised throughout my childhood. I never felt loved by anyone. I was in the childrens aid society (CAS) that helps kids who's parents can't look after them because they aren't fit for parenting. So I was tossed from group home to group home which made me feel worthless and unloved. It affects me like mad and makes me insecure as fuck. I am capable of loving someone with all my heart but I feel they will cheat on me or leave me.

TL;DR! I just want to be loved.



Submitted April 05, 2019 at 09:05PM

I (22M) met this lovely young lady (20F) that is currently in school. She is military like me, and she is just fucking amazing. I dont know how she isn't in a relationship yet. Everything I want she has. I just told her that I can't start anything with her cause I can't control my feelings that well. I am legit scared shitless to be hurt again (Cheated on by someone who I love with all my heart). I can't let myself get to far cause it'll drive me fucking crazy. I'm paranoid as fuck every time someone that can make me better as a person comes into my life. I NEED help to overcome this agonizing fear of getting fucked over. Cause I know it will break me like my last relationship did if I were to get hurt again. I know this stems from how I was raised throughout my childhood. I never felt loved by anyone. I was in the childrens aid society (CAS) that helps kids who's parents can't look after them because they aren't fit for parenting. So I was tossed from group home to group home which made me feel worthless and unloved. It affects me like mad and makes me insecure as fuck. I am capable of loving someone with all my heart but I feel they will cheat on me or leave me. TL;DR! I just want to be loved.
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