I [50F] regret not having children with my husband [52M] now that we are older

I think I'm going through a midlife crisis.

Met when we were 23 and 25. Married at 27 and 29. Neither of us wanted children. This wasn't an issue until now. The older we get the closer we get to death and I'm starting to realizing if he dies, I'm going to be all alone. I'm not close to my family. I have friends but I'm an introvert and homebody. If we had a child, then I would have somebody. Somebody who shares his DNA, a physical connection with him. I know I'll always have the memories and his belongings but it's not the same. There will be a big empty space without him around. A child would've filled that space. Obviously, they wouldn't have played the same role, but I would've had a "piece" of him still around in our child.

I actually have a cousin who went through this. Except she was infertile. If she wasn't, they would've had kids.

I know it's too late to have kids and I honestly still don't want any but I'm conflicted. It seems like having kids is necessary. I've talked to my husband about this and he understands but thinks I shouldn't focus on it. He doesn't think either of us will die soon since we are both in good health.

I'm looking for any type of advice. Am I just going through a midlife crisis? Is this a form of anxiety?

tl;dr I regret not having children because when my husband dies I'll have no one



Submitted April 05, 2019 at 08:47PM

I think I'm going through a midlife crisis.Met when we were 23 and 25. Married at 27 and 29. Neither of us wanted children. This wasn't an issue until now. The older we get the closer we get to death and I'm starting to realizing if he dies, I'm going to be all alone. I'm not close to my family. I have friends but I'm an introvert and homebody. If we had a child, then I would have somebody. Somebody who shares his DNA, a physical connection with him. I know I'll always have the memories and his belongings but it's not the same. There will be a big empty space without him around. A child would've filled that space. Obviously, they wouldn't have played the same role, but I would've had a "piece" of him still around in our child.I actually have a cousin who went through this. Except she was infertile. If she wasn't, they would've had kids.I know it's too late to have kids and I honestly still don't want any but I'm conflicted. It seems like having kids is necessary. I've talked to my husband about this and he understands but thinks I shouldn't focus on it. He doesn't think either of us will die soon since we are both in good health.I'm looking for any type of advice. Am I just going through a midlife crisis? Is this a form of anxiety?tl;dr I regret not having children because when my husband dies I'll have no one
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