I cheated and I’m not sure how I feel about it?

Trigger warning for self-harm

Over a year ago, I (20f) cheated on my ex (20m) with my current boyfriend (23m). My ex and I had a really intense relationship (1 1/2 years), we did drugs every other weekend, smoked weed every single day and both suffered from depression. We often had huge screaming matches over nothing and cried a lot but we thought we were so deeply in love we stayed together.

Eventually, I realised that it wasn’t a proper life. I didn’t want to live like that anymore so I attempted to break up with him and he would always hint towards hurting himself/ending his life. This happened a few times. I felt trapped and that there was no way out other than making him want to leave me, so I cheated on him. We broke up and I got with my current bf maybe a few weeks after, which sometimes I regret because I never got time to heal.

Obviously I know cheating is bad and I regret it deeply and I wouldn’t dream of doing again because of the pain it caused to both of us. I just want to know how other people feel about my actions, as I haven’t really told anyone about why I did what I did.

Tl;dr - cheated on my ex because he told me he would kill him self, is it in anyway justified?



Submitted April 05, 2019 at 07:54PM

Trigger warning for self-harmOver a year ago, I (20f) cheated on my ex (20m) with my current boyfriend (23m). My ex and I had a really intense relationship (1 1/2 years), we did drugs every other weekend, smoked weed every single day and both suffered from depression. We often had huge screaming matches over nothing and cried a lot but we thought we were so deeply in love we stayed together.Eventually, I realised that it wasn’t a proper life. I didn’t want to live like that anymore so I attempted to break up with him and he would always hint towards hurting himself/ending his life. This happened a few times. I felt trapped and that there was no way out other than making him want to leave me, so I cheated on him. We broke up and I got with my current bf maybe a few weeks after, which sometimes I regret because I never got time to heal.Obviously I know cheating is bad and I regret it deeply and I wouldn’t dream of doing again because of the pain it caused to both of us. I just want to know how other people feel about my actions, as I haven’t really told anyone about why I did what I did.Tl;dr - cheated on my ex because he told me he would kill him self, is it in anyway justified?
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