Boyfriend’s (30) friend (F) is into him

I’ve asked for advice coping with this in a similar way before, but this time I have concrete facts. I have anxiety, pretty bad, leading to a plethora of insecurities. I’m 24 (F) and working on it with a therapist and meds, but it’s taking time. I finally worked up the courage to ask my boyfriend something that had bothered me for a while, something I had a hunch about, and for the most part, I was right. One of his good friends is into him. She is a former coworker, and lives pretty far away now. From what he’s told me they chat probably every day online while at work, but he doesn’t text her all that much anymore now that we’re together. We’ve been together for about 8 months. His response when I asked if they had a history was that she’s a good friend, they have the same interests because of their jobs, and that she wanted to date but he said no. I didn’t pry anymore, because in that moment, that was enough to calm my nerves. Now my anxious mind is back at grasping for any proof that he might have feelings for her, maybe that the only reason he said no was because they were working together, or that he wasn’t feeling it then but does now, and just lives too far away. As I type this I realize how much I’m reaching, but I’d still love some coping mechanisms or even just some feedback to snap me back to reality.

tldr— I had a feeling that one of my boyfriend’s friends liked him, and he confirmed, though he rejected her when she asked him to date. I’m still uncomfortable help

Submitted April 05, 2019 at 08:09PM

I’ve asked for advice coping with this in a similar way before, but this time I have concrete facts. I have anxiety, pretty bad, leading to a plethora of insecurities. I’m 24 (F) and working on it with a therapist and meds, but it’s taking time. I finally worked up the courage to ask my boyfriend something that had bothered me for a while, something I had a hunch about, and for the most part, I was right. One of his good friends is into him. She is a former coworker, and lives pretty far away now. From what he’s told me they chat probably every day online while at work, but he doesn’t text her all that much anymore now that we’re together. We’ve been together for about 8 months. His response when I asked if they had a history was that she’s a good friend, they have the same interests because of their jobs, and that she wanted to date but he said no. I didn’t pry anymore, because in that moment, that was enough to calm my nerves. Now my anxious mind is back at grasping for any proof that he might have feelings for her, maybe that the only reason he said no was because they were working together, or that he wasn’t feeling it then but does now, and just lives too far away. As I type this I realize how much I’m reaching, but I’d still love some coping mechanisms or even just some feedback to snap me back to reality.tldr— I had a feeling that one of my boyfriend’s friends liked him, and he confirmed, though he rejected her when she asked him to date. I’m still uncomfortable help