Never Felt Like This ( Long, Sorry )

I can't help it, and it was completely unexpected, but I love my new S.O so much. Also, this is going to be very long, I have no one to gush to about all of this, so it's all coming out now in this post lol.

We've known each other for a few years, I was in a relationship, he was always an innocent crush at a store I frequented around the corner from my work. When I broke up with my ex we hung out for the first time, without doing the "I just need to buy something" charade, we stayed up all night, ended up being around 18 hours together just hanging out and talking before I had to go to work. We said we would take it slow, I had just gotten out of a relationship and he had been single for a decade, we needed adjustment time... or so we thought.

We have been joined a the hip (whenever possible) since. Thing is, I have never and I mean NEVER felt this way about someone before. I've loved, I've been loved, but this, this is far beyond that. I am generally a very insecure person about my appearance, but from the first day we spent time together I have never been more comfortable. Our "arguments" aren't even that. The last one was "you should finish your pizza" to which I replied "I will, but you look really comfy and I don't want to move you" he said "but I know you like it when it's warm" and I said "Yes, but crispy will suffice, I don't want to move you" and we decided to agree to disagree because as he said "I don't want to argue right now I'm too comfortable".

Seems like a small anecdote but my last relationship if I ever brought up my feelings on any matter I would get screamed at and walls would be punched. I felt like I couldn't share my feelings at all in that relationship. In this one, it's a complete 180. If THAT is what he considers "arguing" I will argue with him till the end of time.

And he does things, things anyone else doing them would drive me insane, but when it's him, it's actually relaxing. For example, snoring. Between him and my dog, it sounds like two semis in my room, very loud and consistent. However, between their snoring and the playlist we play before bed, I am the happiest in the world.

I just have to say on top of that, I have severe insomnia, like a good night without sleep aids is an hour of sleep, 3 if I'm REALLY lucky. I get consistent solid sleep with just him and music. I've managed to try and simulate this when he isn't over, which he has been helping me with. He will sleep in my bed, but after we wake up he stays in it and kinda wriggles around, making sure his smell wears off onto my sheets. I know, I know, it sounds weird, but for whatever reason (I know the reason from a biological standpoint) he just smells SO good, without wearing anything, which is why I have very quickly stolen a couple shirts and sweaters. (I'm not a creep I swear, he's requested I do the same in his bed.... or maybe we're weird idk)

​

All of those things aside, I got out of an almost 5-year relationship recently (it was not a standard relationship, I was more like his mother/guardian than a partner), and we decided to hang out and just... never wanted to be apart after that. It wasn't planned, or expected, but omg is it so much different and so good.

Things I didn't even know I wanted or would like he does. As I mentioned before we work right around the corner from each other. Our shifts aren't always on the same days, but we consistently have Saturdays on together. So on our breaks, we will walk around the corner and visit the other. Now I'm not the most touchy-feely person in the world, people at work refer to me as a robot for example, but when he walks in my shop, I can't help but smile. Doesn't matter what kind of day I'm having, as soon as I hear the door chime and his keys jingle, his signature "Hullo", I have a giant smile on my face.

​

I've known him for almost 4 years, I met him because of my ex, I've been with him a month, and I want to marry this man. He is what I've been missing from my life for 25 years, he's what I didn't know was missing from my life for 25 years. He makes me feel so attractive, appreciated, interesting, unique, and most importantly, loved. He doesn't think he's doing a good job of showing his love and affection, but he couldn't be more wrong, and I've told him that, but only time will make him believe that one.

​

I'm not sure what else to say besides I love him, so much, to the degree where I thought I loved people in the past and I'm now realizing I was wrong. We get along so well on every level, there is so much chemistry between us, and I honestly can't think of something he could do (besides the big ones, i.e cheat) that would change the way I feel about him. Every day I fall deeper in love with him. When my ex found out I was seeing someone, he was my ex's first guess. Everyone around us knew this would happen, besides us.

Which I never understood, we built our real "first" build PC's together (not in person but swapping specs and such), we discussed game preferences, he would stop into my store when he was off work and I would delay my visits to his store until I knew he was working, just so I could see him, whether he served me(talked) or not. I just wanted to see him as much as possible, and for him the same.

I was with my ex for almost 5 years, we discussed marriage and living together, but did neither of those things because it never felt right. I've been with him for just barely over a month and we're already talking about house plans, living together, wedding, any hypothetical future plan you could think of (aliens included lol) has been discussed. The biggest thing with that, I'm actually super excited about it, and I cannot wait for it to happen.

I've always been someone that appreciated their space, I like being alone, I work almost 80 hours a week (shop split with contract work), I have a dog, I have stuff I need to take care of essentially. I've always been greedy with money, in the sense I will work myself until I break just for a fat paycheck, I had taken 3 unscheduled days off in the last 2 and a half years, I worked 228 days straight last year to fill a position we didn't have any good candidates for ON TOP of my contract work. My ex used to tell me my bosses were taking advantage of me, despite my raises, bonuses and their offers of "gifts" (free stuff from the shop) and small vacations up to their house away from everything. New S.O? One of the reasons he fell for me is his appreciation of my work ethic. We both know that I don't HAVE to do the things I'm asked of (I technically hold 3 job titles in the company) but I do it because I want a stable future for me and my dog (and multiple others that will be added to the pack).

​

My ex yelled at me and started an argument over the amount of work I do for the company, he stormed out of my house in a huff, because I had mentioned I was stressed. I was, however, anyone who knows me (which we had been together for 4 years at that point, he should have known me by then) knows stress is my optimal condition, I just need to vent sometimes to even it out. New S.O? "I love your work ethic, they don't pay you enough for what you do imo, but I love that you just want to help, pay or not, I want to learn your workflow so I can better myself, I love your brain and I want to learn from you and you can vent to me anytime, I just want to be as helpful as you are" Guys, I melted. The drastic difference, if I hadn't already fallen for him that sentence alone, HNNNG.

​

I don't know what else to say beside, we went on our first "real" date tonight, I fell asleep off and on during the movie, and instead of getting mad and yelling at me for it like it would have been in the past, he offered to go and see the movie with me again, not wait for it to come out on DVD but just go and do another dinner/movie date night.

It's a weird transition for me, and I don't want to have to keep telling him that because he knows my ex and I don't want to keep bringing him up (not that I ever did intentionally, there was just work issues and social media BS that we had to deal with) but it is. I screwed up the other night and he reacted so kindly and so unexpectedly nice that I had to ask/tell him to yell at me for it because that's what I am used to and his kindness was making me uncomfortable and uneasy. He refused, but has vowed to undo the damage that has been done from my past, and whether or not he is successful... I just really love having him in my life, in any capacity.

Bottom line, at the end of the day, I love this man so much. I usually take time off after relationships to figure myself out, recover, all that usual stuff. This time was different, my last relationship devolved in such a way I basically did all of that while still with my ex, I learned how to stand up for myself because my ex treated me so badly that he was the first person I HAD to stand up to (In order to break it off). I know who I am now, I know my worth, I know that all of the insecurities I had devolved because of my ex are BS, and most of all, I have someone in my life to reaffirm, support and guide me in life. All of the things that used to be arguments in past relationships, he just does, without having to ask (we never discussed these things either, he just does the things), things I do just for the sake of it, he loves and thinks it's the best thing in the world. I was worried at first all of it was because he hadn't been with anyone for so long, but it turns out, these are all things he never got to do in past relationships and we just click so well all of our quirks and weird habits line up.

My favorite moment that I will end this rant/vent/gush with, is this. We were in my bed the other night, ordered a pizza. He said he wanted to "keep the slob side of myself away from you for as long as possible" earlier that night. Pizza arrived, we brought it to my room and he asked "So are we getting plates" I looked at him and said, "that box is our plate." I have never seen someone light up over something so mundane, but he followed it with "I was trying to keep my slob side away from you as to not scare you off, but we are on THE EXACT same level".

​

We are on the same page about everything, he is the male version of me, and I am the female version of him. And we could not be happier.

Submitted May 10, 2019 at 06:52AM

I can't help it, and it was completely unexpected, but I love my new S.O so much. Also, this is going to be very long, I have no one to gush to about all of this, so it's all coming out now in this post lol.We've known each other for a few years, I was in a relationship, he was always an innocent crush at a store I frequented around the corner from my work. When I broke up with my ex we hung out for the first time, without doing the "I just need to buy something" charade, we stayed up all night, ended up being around 18 hours together just hanging out and talking before I had to go to work. We said we would take it slow, I had just gotten out of a relationship and he had been single for a decade, we needed adjustment time... or so we thought.We have been joined a the hip (whenever possible) since. Thing is, I have never and I mean NEVER felt this way about someone before. I've loved, I've been loved, but this, this is far beyond that. I am generally a very insecure person about my appearance, but from the first day we spent time together I have never been more comfortable. Our "arguments" aren't even that. The last one was "you should finish your pizza" to which I replied "I will, but you look really comfy and I don't want to move you" he said "but I know you like it when it's warm" and I said "Yes, but crispy will suffice, I don't want to move you" and we decided to agree to disagree because as he said "I don't want to argue right now I'm too comfortable".Seems like a small anecdote but my last relationship if I ever brought up my feelings on any matter I would get screamed at and walls would be punched. I felt like I couldn't share my feelings at all in that relationship. In this one, it's a complete 180. If THAT is what he considers "arguing" I will argue with him till the end of time.And he does things, things anyone else doing them would drive me insane, but when it's him, it's actually relaxing. For example, snoring. Between him and my dog, it sounds like two semis in my room, very loud and consistent. However, between their snoring and the playlist we play before bed, I am the happiest in the world.I just have to say on top of that, I have severe insomnia, like a good night without sleep aids is an hour of sleep, 3 if I'm REALLY lucky. I get consistent solid sleep with just him and music. I've managed to try and simulate this when he isn't over, which he has been helping me with. He will sleep in my bed, but after we wake up he stays in it and kinda wriggles around, making sure his smell wears off onto my sheets. I know, I know, it sounds weird, but for whatever reason (I know the reason from a biological standpoint) he just smells SO good, without wearing anything, which is why I have very quickly stolen a couple shirts and sweaters. (I'm not a creep I swear, he's requested I do the same in his bed.... or maybe we're weird idk)​All of those things aside, I got out of an almost 5-year relationship recently (it was not a standard relationship, I was more like his mother/guardian than a partner), and we decided to hang out and just... never wanted to be apart after that. It wasn't planned, or expected, but omg is it so much different and so good.Things I didn't even know I wanted or would like he does. As I mentioned before we work right around the corner from each other. Our shifts aren't always on the same days, but we consistently have Saturdays on together. So on our breaks, we will walk around the corner and visit the other. Now I'm not the most touchy-feely person in the world, people at work refer to me as a robot for example, but when he walks in my shop, I can't help but smile. Doesn't matter what kind of day I'm having, as soon as I hear the door chime and his keys jingle, his signature "Hullo", I have a giant smile on my face.​I've known him for almost 4 years, I met him because of my ex, I've been with him a month, and I want to marry this man. He is what I've been missing from my life for 25 years, he's what I didn't know was missing from my life for 25 years. He makes me feel so attractive, appreciated, interesting, unique, and most importantly, loved. He doesn't think he's doing a good job of showing his love and affection, but he couldn't be more wrong, and I've told him that, but only time will make him believe that one.​I'm not sure what else to say besides I love him, so much, to the degree where I thought I loved people in the past and I'm now realizing I was wrong. We get along so well on every level, there is so much chemistry between us, and I honestly can't think of something he could do (besides the big ones, i.e cheat) that would change the way I feel about him. Every day I fall deeper in love with him. When my ex found out I was seeing someone, he was my ex's first guess. Everyone around us knew this would happen, besides us.Which I never understood, we built our real "first" build PC's together (not in person but swapping specs and such), we discussed game preferences, he would stop into my store when he was off work and I would delay my visits to his store until I knew he was working, just so I could see him, whether he served me(talked) or not. I just wanted to see him as much as possible, and for him the same.I was with my ex for almost 5 years, we discussed marriage and living together, but did neither of those things because it never felt right. I've been with him for just barely over a month and we're already talking about house plans, living together, wedding, any hypothetical future plan you could think of (aliens included lol) has been discussed. The biggest thing with that, I'm actually super excited about it, and I cannot wait for it to happen.I've always been someone that appreciated their space, I like being alone, I work almost 80 hours a week (shop split with contract work), I have a dog, I have stuff I need to take care of essentially. I've always been greedy with money, in the sense I will work myself until I break just for a fat paycheck, I had taken 3 unscheduled days off in the last 2 and a half years, I worked 228 days straight last year to fill a position we didn't have any good candidates for ON TOP of my contract work. My ex used to tell me my bosses were taking advantage of me, despite my raises, bonuses and their offers of "gifts" (free stuff from the shop) and small vacations up to their house away from everything. New S.O? One of the reasons he fell for me is his appreciation of my work ethic. We both know that I don't HAVE to do the things I'm asked of (I technically hold 3 job titles in the company) but I do it because I want a stable future for me and my dog (and multiple others that will be added to the pack).​My ex yelled at me and started an argument over the amount of work I do for the company, he stormed out of my house in a huff, because I had mentioned I was stressed. I was, however, anyone who knows me (which we had been together for 4 years at that point, he should have known me by then) knows stress is my optimal condition, I just need to vent sometimes to even it out. New S.O? "I love your work ethic, they don't pay you enough for what you do imo, but I love that you just want to help, pay or not, I want to learn your workflow so I can better myself, I love your brain and I want to learn from you and you can vent to me anytime, I just want to be as helpful as you are" Guys, I melted. The drastic difference, if I hadn't already fallen for him that sentence alone, HNNNG.​I don't know what else to say beside, we went on our first "real" date tonight, I fell asleep off and on during the movie, and instead of getting mad and yelling at me for it like it would have been in the past, he offered to go and see the movie with me again, not wait for it to come out on DVD but just go and do another dinner/movie date night.It's a weird transition for me, and I don't want to have to keep telling him that because he knows my ex and I don't want to keep bringing him up (not that I ever did intentionally, there was just work issues and social media BS that we had to deal with) but it is. I screwed up the other night and he reacted so kindly and so unexpectedly nice that I had to ask/tell him to yell at me for it because that's what I am used to and his kindness was making me uncomfortable and uneasy. He refused, but has vowed to undo the damage that has been done from my past, and whether or not he is successful... I just really love having him in my life, in any capacity.Bottom line, at the end of the day, I love this man so much. I usually take time off after relationships to figure myself out, recover, all that usual stuff. This time was different, my last relationship devolved in such a way I basically did all of that while still with my ex, I learned how to stand up for myself because my ex treated me so badly that he was the first person I HAD to stand up to (In order to break it off). I know who I am now, I know my worth, I know that all of the insecurities I had devolved because of my ex are BS, and most of all, I have someone in my life to reaffirm, support and guide me in life. All of the things that used to be arguments in past relationships, he just does, without having to ask (we never discussed these things either, he just does the things), things I do just for the sake of it, he loves and thinks it's the best thing in the world. I was worried at first all of it was because he hadn't been with anyone for so long, but it turns out, these are all things he never got to do in past relationships and we just click so well all of our quirks and weird habits line up.My favorite moment that I will end this rant/vent/gush with, is this. We were in my bed the other night, ordered a pizza. He said he wanted to "keep the slob side of myself away from you for as long as possible" earlier that night. Pizza arrived, we brought it to my room and he asked "So are we getting plates" I looked at him and said, "that box is our plate." I have never seen someone light up over something so mundane, but he followed it with "I was trying to keep my slob side away from you as to not scare you off, but we are on THE EXACT same level".​We are on the same page about everything, he is the male version of me, and I am the female version of him. And we could not be happier.