My girlfriend [26/F] and I [26/F] are moving to the city. I’ll be attending the same grad school that her female best friend attends. All three of us living together is on the table. I’m worried it will ruin everything.

I need advice, obviously. My girlfriend and I have been together for 7 months. I got accepted into a grad program out of state and we are going to move together. A big step. We have lots of cats, the stereotype is real y’all. So we’re moving across the country with all these cats (4) and then add in her best female friend living in the same city and going to school for the same thing I’m going for. The financially smart decision is to have roommates and who better than a person that my girlfriend and I already know and better yet my partners best friend?

I love her friend and I am very grateful to have her helping me through my acceptance process (advice about internships, essays, resume, etc) but I am totally against it us all living together. Here are my reasons: 1. She has two cats and they are not as well kept as ours. They aren’t well behaved either. That’s also 6 cats in a small space.
2. High maintenance 3. Major personality differences (partying, smoking weed inside, having people over in tiny living space) 4. There will be this weird obligation to include her friend in all of our activities. I feel like my partner and I will never truly be alone. 5. I’m afraid that they’re friendship could be ruined, they’ve never lived together. I’m afraid of ruining my friendship with her best friend. I’m also worried about jealousy that will DEFINITELY exist. For me and for my partner. 6. This is a big step for my partner and I’s relationship. I can’t explain why it feels lessened if we all live together.

There are definitely other reasons but those are the main ones. My partner is concerned about living with a random roommate because of her poor past experiences. I’m worried about living with her best friend because of my own past experiences (I lived with a best friend once and that friendship was barely salvageable). I don’t want to be stressed about my living situation while I’m going to grad school. This is going to be an intense two years and I don’t want to hate coming home. I don’t want to worry about a hostile situation that could surface at any time. I may like her best friend but I don’t REALLY know her. Am I being unreasonable? Are there better options?

TLDR: I [26/F] don’t want to live with my partner’s [26/F] best female friend. Am I being unreasonable? Are there better options?



Submitted May 10, 2019 at 04:51AM

I need advice, obviously. My girlfriend and I have been together for 7 months. I got accepted into a grad program out of state and we are going to move together. A big step. We have lots of cats, the stereotype is real y’all. So we’re moving across the country with all these cats (4) and then add in her best female friend living in the same city and going to school for the same thing I’m going for. The financially smart decision is to have roommates and who better than a person that my girlfriend and I already know and better yet my partners best friend?I love her friend and I am very grateful to have her helping me through my acceptance process (advice about internships, essays, resume, etc) but I am totally against it us all living together. Here are my reasons: 1. She has two cats and they are not as well kept as ours. They aren’t well behaved either. That’s also 6 cats in a small space.2. High maintenance 3. Major personality differences (partying, smoking weed inside, having people over in tiny living space) 4. There will be this weird obligation to include her friend in all of our activities. I feel like my partner and I will never truly be alone. 5. I’m afraid that they’re friendship could be ruined, they’ve never lived together. I’m afraid of ruining my friendship with her best friend. I’m also worried about jealousy that will DEFINITELY exist. For me and for my partner. 6. This is a big step for my partner and I’s relationship. I can’t explain why it feels lessened if we all live together.There are definitely other reasons but those are the main ones. My partner is concerned about living with a random roommate because of her poor past experiences. I’m worried about living with her best friend because of my own past experiences (I lived with a best friend once and that friendship was barely salvageable). I don’t want to be stressed about my living situation while I’m going to grad school. This is going to be an intense two years and I don’t want to hate coming home. I don’t want to worry about a hostile situation that could surface at any time. I may like her best friend but I don’t REALLY know her. Am I being unreasonable? Are there better options?TLDR: I [26/F] don’t want to live with my partner’s [26/F] best female friend. Am I being unreasonable? Are there better options?
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