/u/daffodil1995 on Im in love with my therapist

So I’m not a therapist, but I am a female social worker in my 20s who has worked in mental health for the past 4 years (as a case manager) and I can’t tell you how many young male clients thought they were in love with me. As other people here have said, it’s not unusual to think you’re in love with someone who is kind, listens to you, and wants to help you. I’m sure you’re not the first client who has developed feelings for her, and you won’t be the last. Tell her and she will know how to handle it professionally.

I hope you don’t think I’m being rude by saying this, since your feelings are valid and I can’t know what’s in your heart/head, but I think it’s important to keep in mind that you don’t actually know her. You may like her, and love how she makes you feel, but you know her only as client and therapist. You don’t know what she is like out of work, or who she really is as a person. You don’t know how she spends her free time, what she is passionate about, or other details that make up who a person really is. This is something I’d remind my clients of when they’d tell me they had feelings for me.

I think this transference is also one of the biggest reasons it is against the National Association of Social Workers Code of Ethics for social workers or therapists to have relationships with clients, even when they are no longer clients. The combination of a client’s vulnerability and the skills a therapist is taught to use in school often leads to the client transferring feeling of love into the therapist. It would be taking advantage if a therapist were to use that vulnerability and transference to start a romantic relationship.

May 10, 2019 at 06:37AM