I [24M] am dating a girl [23F] who's parents are deadset against the relationship, and I don't know what to do.

A quick (kind of) summary: I met this girl a few years ago and once we started talking immediately hit it off. We were both people who were coming off of badly ended recent relationships and it was a breath of fresh air as we connected perfectly. I just finished school and begin as a paramedic soon and shes on her way to her PhD in virology, so we're on the edge of being independent but still dependent on family.

Here's the issue: she comes from a traditional Pakistani family, and I'm from a not-so-traditional Indian family. For those who aren't familiar with the cultures, they're fairly similar and both our families follow the same religion. Her parents are sticklers for old fashioned rules such as caste, country, skin colour, religion, etc, and lost their shit upon finding out about us. Family means a lot to her but so do I, and she is torn between the two. My family is fully accepting of the relationship.

If she is unable to sway her parents the decision will come down to either them or me, which is a difficult choice. I'm not sure if I make the tough choice and tell her to choose her family, or the choice I want and ask her to pick me. I'm torn because if she chooses me and leaves her family for me I know the guilt of it will stay with me, and if things happen to not work out it would tear me up knowing I took her away just for things to not work out. At the moment things are amazing and I really see a future, but I'm torn as what to do.

TL;DR - Dating a great girl who's parent's are deadset against the relationship. Unsure whether I should ask her to come with me or do the tough thing and leave her to her family



Submitted May 10, 2019 at 04:57AM

A quick (kind of) summary: I met this girl a few years ago and once we started talking immediately hit it off. We were both people who were coming off of badly ended recent relationships and it was a breath of fresh air as we connected perfectly. I just finished school and begin as a paramedic soon and shes on her way to her PhD in virology, so we're on the edge of being independent but still dependent on family.Here's the issue: she comes from a traditional Pakistani family, and I'm from a not-so-traditional Indian family. For those who aren't familiar with the cultures, they're fairly similar and both our families follow the same religion. Her parents are sticklers for old fashioned rules such as caste, country, skin colour, religion, etc, and lost their shit upon finding out about us. Family means a lot to her but so do I, and she is torn between the two. My family is fully accepting of the relationship.If she is unable to sway her parents the decision will come down to either them or me, which is a difficult choice. I'm not sure if I make the tough choice and tell her to choose her family, or the choice I want and ask her to pick me. I'm torn because if she chooses me and leaves her family for me I know the guilt of it will stay with me, and if things happen to not work out it would tear me up knowing I took her away just for things to not work out. At the moment things are amazing and I really see a future, but I'm torn as what to do.TL;DR - Dating a great girl who's parent's are deadset against the relationship. Unsure whether I should ask her to come with me or do the tough thing and leave her to her family
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