Questions of an Arbiter

Good evening everyone, I hope this message finds you well. I have come here for some dating advice and normally I would not even dare post anything private or personal, but I would be grateful for the feedback. So far, I’m sure all of this sounds normal, perhaps even quaintly familiar to many posts, but I believe the hitch is that I am a strange individual. I’m capable of making good conversation and fitting in amid the suited masses taking the subway, riding the bus or even trekking across the landscape.

However, I’m invited to parties or outings I find myself conversing in a drone like manner, whilst my mind is wandering longing to be understood. The conversations can sometimes be intriguing, but the content is usually only based on finances or material dreams. The night closes, I walk home, and the silence is deafening. Sometimes I am laying down staring at my ceiling whilst the light from the nearby electronics draws an unrecognizable patter on the ceiling and I am sitting there wishing someone was near. I failed at opening up to so many people, along the way I lost apart of myself. Sometimes I dream a woman is their keeping me safe, allowing me to be real. Many times I have carried the emotional burden for my partners, I allowed abuse in so many forms without realizing what it was. All I wanted was some kindness and reassurance that no matter how dark it was someone was with me in my corner. My philosophical intent and nature perhaps exile me from the simpler path.

I’m a curious person, recently I became an Atheist and it disqualified me from the warmth of institutions who only valued me when we believed the universe was the same. It was so easy when you simply submitted to the ideology that some divine dictator was responsible and just to lay down my responsibilities to the Leviathan. An eight-year relationship went up in smoke, the people that I loved the most see me as alien. If you asked them, they would not say that, they would say I’m a character and that I’ve always been my own man, but underneath it I know they are sad we don’t share the bond of belief. I feel free now, but it feels like I am early to dinner, so early that no one is going to show up.

It’s difficult to stray from the norm in a strong way, because at that point evolutionary speaking you are looking another creature who shares your social niche. I think this has obviously limited my dating pool and if any of my observations are correct perhaps put me on a road to being alone for a long time. I am simply looking for a place to meet like minded people, or at least some direction. I hope I have no come across as vain in my time of strife, and I look forward to your councils.

Thank you, all of you for your time and I look forward to hearing from you all.

Submitted May 05, 2019 at 11:17PM

Good evening everyone, I hope this message finds you well. I have come here for some dating advice and normally I would not even dare post anything private or personal, but I would be grateful for the feedback. So far, I’m sure all of this sounds normal, perhaps even quaintly familiar to many posts, but I believe the hitch is that I am a strange individual. I’m capable of making good conversation and fitting in amid the suited masses taking the subway, riding the bus or even trekking across the landscape.However, I’m invited to parties or outings I find myself conversing in a drone like manner, whilst my mind is wandering longing to be understood. The conversations can sometimes be intriguing, but the content is usually only based on finances or material dreams. The night closes, I walk home, and the silence is deafening. Sometimes I am laying down staring at my ceiling whilst the light from the nearby electronics draws an unrecognizable patter on the ceiling and I am sitting there wishing someone was near. I failed at opening up to so many people, along the way I lost apart of myself. Sometimes I dream a woman is their keeping me safe, allowing me to be real. Many times I have carried the emotional burden for my partners, I allowed abuse in so many forms without realizing what it was. All I wanted was some kindness and reassurance that no matter how dark it was someone was with me in my corner. My philosophical intent and nature perhaps exile me from the simpler path.I’m a curious person, recently I became an Atheist and it disqualified me from the warmth of institutions who only valued me when we believed the universe was the same. It was so easy when you simply submitted to the ideology that some divine dictator was responsible and just to lay down my responsibilities to the Leviathan. An eight-year relationship went up in smoke, the people that I loved the most see me as alien. If you asked them, they would not say that, they would say I’m a character and that I’ve always been my own man, but underneath it I know they are sad we don’t share the bond of belief. I feel free now, but it feels like I am early to dinner, so early that no one is going to show up.It’s difficult to stray from the norm in a strong way, because at that point evolutionary speaking you are looking another creature who shares your social niche. I think this has obviously limited my dating pool and if any of my observations are correct perhaps put me on a road to being alone for a long time. I am simply looking for a place to meet like minded people, or at least some direction. I hope I have no come across as vain in my time of strife, and I look forward to your councils.Thank you, all of you for your time and I look forward to hearing from you all.