I get freakishly jealous, can someone help me out?

Okay. I guess I believed in the "twin flame" and "soul mate" thing, which is a disneyland fairytale lie I guess then right?

Yes. I know this is totally unrealistic to logically think I am gonna find some pure angel walking among us, but it's how I emotionally react, it makes me have this sick feeling in my stomach, thinking about or knowing all the men she has been with before me, soiled, (how 99% of women AND men probably are right) how to deal or what to think and feel then? So I just don't want to date anymore and do this human game then (sad, right? how else to feel?)... it's so sick. Like all her sexual partners in the past. And now I'm kissing that mouth? And now I'm supposed to be emotionally devoted to her, even though she was heavily emotionally devoted to another man? :( Thx for the help, this hurts, badly.

Like if she's been soiled and stuff like 99% of women (AND men) are... like that's so gross I don't wanna kiss her mouth if a few weeks days or hours ago it was all over another man's genitals right? Why do I get this sick feeling in my stomach and how do I feel or think differently about this? I honestly feel like I would rather die alone at this point than settle. I even get pissed if she wants to bring another woman over because like I just want HER, and not divide my sexual energy, you know? This is possessiveness right. I guess I have this whole soul mate twin flame belief going on. Unrealistic expectations, right? How am I supposed to feel about this? How can people be happy out there knowing the love of their live if life all over other partners, and still be happy? Like just knowing this, the girl of my dreams has been all over these other men, it makes me want to cry honestly.

Sigh....... I just don't see the point with this dating thing anymore. I don't know how else to be. I just want to be happy but all I feel is sick and mad whenever I think about all her partners =[ this is so irrational but I don't know how else to deal.Like, I want to love her and stuff but just knowing she's been in threesomes and stuff it makes me so sick. :(((((( What is a sane way to think and feel about this so I can move through my life and still be happy?

Thanks guys & gals.

~One confused dude with a shattered heart and dream.

Submitted May 05, 2019 at 03:57PM

Okay. I guess I believed in the "twin flame" and "soul mate" thing, which is a disneyland fairytale lie I guess then right?Yes. I know this is totally unrealistic to logically think I am gonna find some pure angel walking among us, but it's how I emotionally react, it makes me have this sick feeling in my stomach, thinking about or knowing all the men she has been with before me, soiled, (how 99% of women AND men probably are right) how to deal or what to think and feel then? So I just don't want to date anymore and do this human game then (sad, right? how else to feel?)... it's so sick. Like all her sexual partners in the past. And now I'm kissing that mouth? And now I'm supposed to be emotionally devoted to her, even though she was heavily emotionally devoted to another man? :( Thx for the help, this hurts, badly.Like if she's been soiled and stuff like 99% of women (AND men) are... like that's so gross I don't wanna kiss her mouth if a few weeks days or hours ago it was all over another man's genitals right? Why do I get this sick feeling in my stomach and how do I feel or think differently about this? I honestly feel like I would rather die alone at this point than settle. I even get pissed if she wants to bring another woman over because like I just want HER, and not divide my sexual energy, you know? This is possessiveness right. I guess I have this whole soul mate twin flame belief going on. Unrealistic expectations, right? How am I supposed to feel about this? How can people be happy out there knowing the love of their live if life all over other partners, and still be happy? Like just knowing this, the girl of my dreams has been all over these other men, it makes me want to cry honestly.Sigh....... I just don't see the point with this dating thing anymore. I don't know how else to be. I just want to be happy but all I feel is sick and mad whenever I think about all her partners =[ this is so irrational but I don't know how else to deal.Like, I want to love her and stuff but just knowing she's been in threesomes and stuff it makes me so sick. :(((((( What is a sane way to think and feel about this so I can move through my life and still be happy?Thanks guys & gals.~One confused dude with a shattered heart and dream.