What are some things couples do to each other in a relationship that they might not realize they’re doing?

My post yesterday brought up some valid points about how I treated my BF. Before the post, I didn’t really think much of my comment to him, but now that I’ve been thinking about it, I’m kind of not okay with how innocuous I thought it was.

My post was about how I told my BF he should eat more veggies. He basically told me to mind my own business and stop trying to fix him. I reacted poorly because I said it from a place of care—wanting him to live a long healthy life. But now I can see how judgmental and controlling little comments like that can be. I’m also realizing that my comment was most likely a projection. I’m always thinking about my health, my diet, and what I could improve.

I don’t want to be his mother, and I wouldn’t want someone to do what I did to him. I wouldn’t have realized the bigger implications if he didn’t say anything.

Telling someone to eat more veggies in itself could be seen as not such a big deal, since we tell children that, hear it everyday in health literature, and generally promote it in society. But in a relationship, yeah, that can come off as not trusting your partner can make decisions for themselves, or not accepting them for who they are.

It’s been making me think, what else is there that someone might do to their partner without realizing it, that might have bigger implications, or create an unhealthy dynamic?

Submitted April 25, 2019 at 08:02PM

My post yesterday brought up some valid points about how I treated my BF. Before the post, I didn’t really think much of my comment to him, but now that I’ve been thinking about it, I’m kind of not okay with how innocuous I thought it was.My post was about how I told my BF he should eat more veggies. He basically told me to mind my own business and stop trying to fix him. I reacted poorly because I said it from a place of care—wanting him to live a long healthy life. But now I can see how judgmental and controlling little comments like that can be. I’m also realizing that my comment was most likely a projection. I’m always thinking about my health, my diet, and what I could improve.I don’t want to be his mother, and I wouldn’t want someone to do what I did to him. I wouldn’t have realized the bigger implications if he didn’t say anything.Telling someone to eat more veggies in itself could be seen as not such a big deal, since we tell children that, hear it everyday in health literature, and generally promote it in society. But in a relationship, yeah, that can come off as not trusting your partner can make decisions for themselves, or not accepting them for who they are.It’s been making me think, what else is there that someone might do to their partner without realizing it, that might have bigger implications, or create an unhealthy dynamic?