Help, I(F26) don't know how to be myself with him (M26)

So I have a pretty unusual background. Until the age of 22, I was a Jehovah's Witness. It's incredibly hard to explain the impact being raised in a high-control religion like that can have on you, but to put it very lightly, I got very good at hiding parts of myself that I felt others disapproved of or didn't understand as a result.

Now, I'm four years out of the religion, and have started dating for the first time. This is an incredibly huge step for me, since I've always felt fairly constricted in any kind of close personal relationship.

The guy I'm seeing is really great, and not judgmental at all, but I still find myself cutting away parts of myself for the relationship and feel like I can't fully be myself. I really think this is more of an issue on my end than his, but I still don't know how to work to change it. If you've ever been in a similar situation and had trouble feeling like you could be yourself in the context of a certain relationship, what did you do? Were you able to work it out, or did you find someone else the fit was better with naturally?

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TL;DR! - I don't know how to be myself in a relationship after growing up in a judgmental religion. Looking for advice on how to be true to myself in context of relationship.



Submitted April 26, 2019 at 06:27AM

So I have a pretty unusual background. Until the age of 22, I was a Jehovah's Witness. It's incredibly hard to explain the impact being raised in a high-control religion like that can have on you, but to put it very lightly, I got very good at hiding parts of myself that I felt others disapproved of or didn't understand as a result.Now, I'm four years out of the religion, and have started dating for the first time. This is an incredibly huge step for me, since I've always felt fairly constricted in any kind of close personal relationship.The guy I'm seeing is really great, and not judgmental at all, but I still find myself cutting away parts of myself for the relationship and feel like I can't fully be myself. I really think this is more of an issue on my end than his, but I still don't know how to work to change it. If you've ever been in a similar situation and had trouble feeling like you could be yourself in the context of a certain relationship, what did you do? Were you able to work it out, or did you find someone else the fit was better with naturally?​TL;DR! - I don't know how to be myself in a relationship after growing up in a judgmental religion. Looking for advice on how to be true to myself in context of relationship.
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