I [28M] have just had a mutual break up, but now I must decide whether to hang my ex [27F] out to dry, or live together for at least two months. Advice?

My ex (were together 3 years, friends for 8) is living on the couch. She hasn't had a job for about 4 months, but has managed to squirrel away about 10K (former nest egg) that she is using to buy a mobile home. She has property and a home already to put on it, but it won't be ready to move for about a month or so. The land is undeveloped and needs some time to get ready as well.

Her drinking habits have been out of control for almost a year and she refuses to seek help. I work all day and often work overtime to pay all the bills and afford food for the entire family (she has a child that lives with us on the weekends). I try to keep the house clean, but she consistently undoes all the progress I can make, turning it back into an absolute mess within a day. She often promises to clean up, and seems genuine, but ALWAYS ends up getting hammered and either falls asleep, runs off with her friends, runs off with other men, or lays on the couch scrolling facebook all day. On top of that, she's an angry drunk, and constantly tells me she would beat the shit out of me if I wasn't so much bigger than her. When she's sober, she is a wonderful person and tries to make amends. She is never sober for more than a few hours. I don't support her drinking habit, and she has been using her housing fund to buy alcohol daily.

I haven't been seeking companionship myself. The relationship has been over for about a month now, I'm not ready to try dating or sleeping around yet, so I come home to a depressing situation every night. I can't seek comfort from her, it hurts too much to even look at her most days. I want to leave so much, but I can't bring myself to drop her into such a bad situation, and she pleads with me to just have patience. She says she can't make it on her own for three or more months on her own, and I know that's true. She's been my best friend for years, even before the relationship and I have a strong relationship with her child as well.

Will I feel better just gritting my teeth and bearing it, or should I follow my gut instinct? Sorry for my life's story but I really need some guidance and I only get knee-jerk anger reactions from friends and family. Thank you for any advice you have.

TL;DR Live with ex, too much to handle. Don't want to live with her, don't want her to be homeless for 3 three months. What do?

Submitted April 26, 2019 at 07:14AM

My ex (were together 3 years, friends for 8) is living on the couch. She hasn't had a job for about 4 months, but has managed to squirrel away about 10K (former nest egg) that she is using to buy a mobile home. She has property and a home already to put on it, but it won't be ready to move for about a month or so. The land is undeveloped and needs some time to get ready as well.Her drinking habits have been out of control for almost a year and she refuses to seek help. I work all day and often work overtime to pay all the bills and afford food for the entire family (she has a child that lives with us on the weekends). I try to keep the house clean, but she consistently undoes all the progress I can make, turning it back into an absolute mess within a day. She often promises to clean up, and seems genuine, but ALWAYS ends up getting hammered and either falls asleep, runs off with her friends, runs off with other men, or lays on the couch scrolling facebook all day. On top of that, she's an angry drunk, and constantly tells me she would beat the shit out of me if I wasn't so much bigger than her. When she's sober, she is a wonderful person and tries to make amends. She is never sober for more than a few hours. I don't support her drinking habit, and she has been using her housing fund to buy alcohol daily.I haven't been seeking companionship myself. The relationship has been over for about a month now, I'm not ready to try dating or sleeping around yet, so I come home to a depressing situation every night. I can't seek comfort from her, it hurts too much to even look at her most days. I want to leave so much, but I can't bring myself to drop her into such a bad situation, and she pleads with me to just have patience. She says she can't make it on her own for three or more months on her own, and I know that's true. She's been my best friend for years, even before the relationship and I have a strong relationship with her child as well.Will I feel better just gritting my teeth and bearing it, or should I follow my gut instinct? Sorry for my life's story but I really need some guidance and I only get knee-jerk anger reactions from friends and family. Thank you for any advice you have.TL;DR Live with ex, too much to handle. Don't want to live with her, don't want her to be homeless for 3 three months. What do?