/u/Ruruskadoo on I may not want to have sex with anyone, but I still want people to want to have sex with me

It feels really validating and powerful to be found desirable. It's not something I experience irl but I've encountered it online and it floored me, it felt amazing being able to have such an impact on someone just by saying words in a particular tone. They don't even have to be suggestive although that helps/makes it funnier.

I never intentionally mislead people, I'm very upfront about being ace and just treat that kind of stuff like the fun joke it is, but I was surprised by how powerful it made me feel. I don't like people actually making advances towards me, but expressions of desire towards me feel a bit flattering if I'm completely honest.

I still 95% do it because it's funny, but there is that occasional 5%. I feel guilty about feeling that way and don't ever intentionally act that way for the specific purpose of just feeding my ego because that would just feel way too manipulative and selfish, but I can't help but feel validated when it happens.

On the platonic side of things I really wish I was aesthetically attractive; it's not that I want people to want to date me so much as it just feels good to feel like I look nice and to be held in high esteem (and on the flip side it feels bad feeling like I look like shit and feeling/knowing others judge me based on how I look).

I guess what it boils down to is I want others to like me and validate me, and any means to that end feels good. (It's still kind of more scary than flattering if they actively approach me about that stuff though; I don't know how to deal with that kind of thing.)





April 26, 2019 at 07:00AM
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