I [19M] have feelings for my best friend of 5 years [19F] and don’t know what to do.

The title is pretty self explanatory but let me delve more into the details. My friend, was in a relationship for almost 2 years until her and her boyfriend broke up at the beginning of last month.

We’ve known each other since before our first year of high school and now we are both at separate colleges in different states. Since college started we talk over Skype regularly, at least once a week, and she’s the only one of my high school friends I actually Skype and that is also true the other way around, except for her I’m the only friend from high school she even texts — let alone Skype. She is definitely my closest friend and confidant and I trust her more than almost anyone else outside my family.

I’ve had feelings for her in the past but those were only for a little while about a year after we became friends and I ended up moving on and dating someone else, so I assumed I was over her completely and hadn’t had feelings for her since — in fact I even helped set her and her last boyfriend up.

However I realized I was once again getting feelings for her now that we are both single. I began realizing I had feelings for her at the end of last month, and now I’ve gotten to the realization that I have a full on crush on her.

I honestly don’t think she has any feelings towards me and she is typically the person I ask for relationship advice. Another issue is I cannot ask any mutual friends how she feels because out of all of our friends I know her the best and she knows me the best.

I really want to just get over my feelings and move on and find someone else, but I really can’t do it — I don’t really have feelings like this for anyone at my uni. I’m completely lost on what to do. I know that eventually im going to have to ask her out (probably in August at the earliest) but I really don’t want to because I’m afraid it will hurt our friendship.

I’m also afraid of what would happen if she says yes, we have similar career goals and views on relationships (part of the reason she got dumped was because her boyfriend had different goals and views on relationships) but we would still have to contend with long distance.

That issue is exacerbated by the fact that I moved away (right before college started) from where we went to school together, which means that I can’t see her in person even during breaks. Assuming we even made it work — if we broke up that could mean I lose my closest friend.

Any advice is appreciated I just don’t know how to go about this, or if I can just make myself get over the idea of dating her and go for someone else.

TL;DR: I have feelings for my best friend who I’ve known for 5 years and I’m completely lost on how to deal with them.

Submitted April 26, 2019 at 05:58AM

The title is pretty self explanatory but let me delve more into the details. My friend, was in a relationship for almost 2 years until her and her boyfriend broke up at the beginning of last month.We’ve known each other since before our first year of high school and now we are both at separate colleges in different states. Since college started we talk over Skype regularly, at least once a week, and she’s the only one of my high school friends I actually Skype and that is also true the other way around, except for her I’m the only friend from high school she even texts — let alone Skype. She is definitely my closest friend and confidant and I trust her more than almost anyone else outside my family.I’ve had feelings for her in the past but those were only for a little while about a year after we became friends and I ended up moving on and dating someone else, so I assumed I was over her completely and hadn’t had feelings for her since — in fact I even helped set her and her last boyfriend up.However I realized I was once again getting feelings for her now that we are both single. I began realizing I had feelings for her at the end of last month, and now I’ve gotten to the realization that I have a full on crush on her.I honestly don’t think she has any feelings towards me and she is typically the person I ask for relationship advice. Another issue is I cannot ask any mutual friends how she feels because out of all of our friends I know her the best and she knows me the best.I really want to just get over my feelings and move on and find someone else, but I really can’t do it — I don’t really have feelings like this for anyone at my uni. I’m completely lost on what to do. I know that eventually im going to have to ask her out (probably in August at the earliest) but I really don’t want to because I’m afraid it will hurt our friendship.I’m also afraid of what would happen if she says yes, we have similar career goals and views on relationships (part of the reason she got dumped was because her boyfriend had different goals and views on relationships) but we would still have to contend with long distance.That issue is exacerbated by the fact that I moved away (right before college started) from where we went to school together, which means that I can’t see her in person even during breaks. Assuming we even made it work — if we broke up that could mean I lose my closest friend.Any advice is appreciated I just don’t know how to go about this, or if I can just make myself get over the idea of dating her and go for someone else.TL;DR: I have feelings for my best friend who I’ve known for 5 years and I’m completely lost on how to deal with them.