Should I (23F) tell the wife of the man my best friend (23F) is having an affair with that her husband (50M) is cheating on her (40F)?

Posted this to r/AmITheAsshole but it got removed for silly reasons so I’m putting it here. Let me know if it’s suited to somewhere better.

But yeah, situation is as fucked up as the title makes it out to be.

Basically, my close friend is in a relationship with a married man, the wife of whom has no idea.

She sprung it on me a week ago, saying that he is married but the wife is a bitch and he plans to divorce her. Major red flags right there and then and I told her that. She reassured me that he was telling her the truth and that I need to trust her. Okay.

Anyway, they hadn’t met in real life at that point, they’d met on Twitter a few months back and had a platonic relationship up until recently. My friend was even friends with his wife online too, which is fucked up imo.

So yeah, the wife has no idea. The husband apparently has an illness that leaves him with only a few years left to live and the wife apparently refuses to support or care for him, which sucks if true. I snooped on the wife’s Twitter after my friend told me of their affair and the wife is always talking about herself having the illness and not the husband, so that’s another red flag in my opinion. Seems to me like the husband is stringing my friend along for sympathy? But even if not and the wife is horrible, I don’t think that’s an excuse to cheat. I don’t think any situation is worthy of cheating on someone over.

I should note that my friend also has autism so she’s not always aware of the intentions other people can have and she’s been taken advantage of a lot in the past by creepy men who have emotionally and physically abused her, so I’m just really scared this is going to be another one of those situations. Oh, and he’s like 20+ years older than her, if that helps.

The husband is telling my friend that he believes he’s not of this Earth, and that he was actually born on Venus. And she’s totally fallen for that. Which yeah, it’s fucking weird. She’s got into all sorts of weird stuff since knowing him and I get that everyone has their hobbies but I have reason to believe it’s having a negative effect on her and I’m just worried.

My friend spent £200 on train tickets and a hotel so she could have sex with the husband while the wife was out of town. He wouldn’t pay for a penny of that, if that tells you the type of guy he is. I think he’s taking advantage of her but she’s completely smitten. He’s making all sorts of promises to her. Says divorce is on the cards, that they’ll move in together and I’m just not buying it at all. But she won’t listen, she thinks the sun shines out of his ass.

So my dilemma is this: should I tell the wife? I don’t want to betray my friend but I also don’t want to see her get hurt by another sleazy man. Plus obviously I feel fucking terrible for the wife, because nobody deserves to be cheated on. I don’t want to lose my friend either over this, plus I feel like someone else’s marriage isn’t my business, so I’m so torn.

Would I be the asshole if I told the wife that her husband is cheating on her with my close friend?

TL;DR - Best friend is having an affair with a married man and I feel fucking awful knowing about it and not saying anything. But I also feel like it’s not my business to as it’s not my marriage. But I also would like to know if my husband was cheating on me, so it’s a moral dilemma.

Submitted May 26, 2019 at 06:13AM

Posted this to r/AmITheAsshole but it got removed for silly reasons so I’m putting it here. Let me know if it’s suited to somewhere better.But yeah, situation is as fucked up as the title makes it out to be.Basically, my close friend is in a relationship with a married man, the wife of whom has no idea.She sprung it on me a week ago, saying that he is married but the wife is a bitch and he plans to divorce her. Major red flags right there and then and I told her that. She reassured me that he was telling her the truth and that I need to trust her. Okay.Anyway, they hadn’t met in real life at that point, they’d met on Twitter a few months back and had a platonic relationship up until recently. My friend was even friends with his wife online too, which is fucked up imo.So yeah, the wife has no idea. The husband apparently has an illness that leaves him with only a few years left to live and the wife apparently refuses to support or care for him, which sucks if true. I snooped on the wife’s Twitter after my friend told me of their affair and the wife is always talking about herself having the illness and not the husband, so that’s another red flag in my opinion. Seems to me like the husband is stringing my friend along for sympathy? But even if not and the wife is horrible, I don’t think that’s an excuse to cheat. I don’t think any situation is worthy of cheating on someone over.I should note that my friend also has autism so she’s not always aware of the intentions other people can have and she’s been taken advantage of a lot in the past by creepy men who have emotionally and physically abused her, so I’m just really scared this is going to be another one of those situations. Oh, and he’s like 20+ years older than her, if that helps.The husband is telling my friend that he believes he’s not of this Earth, and that he was actually born on Venus. And she’s totally fallen for that. Which yeah, it’s fucking weird. She’s got into all sorts of weird stuff since knowing him and I get that everyone has their hobbies but I have reason to believe it’s having a negative effect on her and I’m just worried.My friend spent £200 on train tickets and a hotel so she could have sex with the husband while the wife was out of town. He wouldn’t pay for a penny of that, if that tells you the type of guy he is. I think he’s taking advantage of her but she’s completely smitten. He’s making all sorts of promises to her. Says divorce is on the cards, that they’ll move in together and I’m just not buying it at all. But she won’t listen, she thinks the sun shines out of his ass.So my dilemma is this: should I tell the wife? I don’t want to betray my friend but I also don’t want to see her get hurt by another sleazy man. Plus obviously I feel fucking terrible for the wife, because nobody deserves to be cheated on. I don’t want to lose my friend either over this, plus I feel like someone else’s marriage isn’t my business, so I’m so torn.Would I be the asshole if I told the wife that her husband is cheating on her with my close friend?TL;DR - Best friend is having an affair with a married man and I feel fucking awful knowing about it and not saying anything. But I also feel like it’s not my business to as it’s not my marriage. But I also would like to know if my husband was cheating on me, so it’s a moral dilemma.