No more dating

I’ve just been through a break up after a 5 months relationship because we didn’t have the same expectations as far as long term plans and desires. Namely, he [48] wanted children, whereas I [39F] do not want any because I already have a pre-teen. I am bearing the entire responsibility for my child financially and in terms of education etc etc, although the main reason I accepted to have a child in the first place was because it was my ex-husband’s dream and main purpose in life. Then he decided it’s not what he wanted.

So here I am, probably the worst type of demographic on the dating « market ». Woman of still childbearing age, full time job with super successful career, a child to care for, very little spare time. If I date men who don’t have children, they want children. Otherwise why bother dating a single mother ? Men who already have children are broke, too busy or too bitter. Men who don’t want a family don’t understand how little free time I have.

I cannot be swayed by the usual things such as the guy giving me a place in society, financial stability or children. I am also fairly tall and would like a partner I can feel well proportioned next to, and I don’t get attracted too often. I hate the modern ways of dating with multiple partners, it’s too much emotional work for me.

The only men I could find myself to be an equal partner to intellectually, had a phd.

My needs are around emotional stability, communication, companionship.

I’m seriously thinking of stopping any expectations about finding the right partner and just focus on my child, my health, my fitness, my friendships and my financial and professional success. I’ll find a way to manage my HL on my own. Maybe I can convince myself that this is already enough achievement in this life. But I always thought I would put my romantic partnership above everything else. I’m so disappointed.

Any thoughts...?

TL;DR: disappointed, am thinking I have no chance to find the right partner and should no longer try

Submitted May 25, 2019 at 06:31PM

I’ve just been through a break up after a 5 months relationship because we didn’t have the same expectations as far as long term plans and desires. Namely, he [48] wanted children, whereas I [39F] do not want any because I already have a pre-teen. I am bearing the entire responsibility for my child financially and in terms of education etc etc, although the main reason I accepted to have a child in the first place was because it was my ex-husband’s dream and main purpose in life. Then he decided it’s not what he wanted.So here I am, probably the worst type of demographic on the dating « market ». Woman of still childbearing age, full time job with super successful career, a child to care for, very little spare time. If I date men who don’t have children, they want children. Otherwise why bother dating a single mother ? Men who already have children are broke, too busy or too bitter. Men who don’t want a family don’t understand how little free time I have.I cannot be swayed by the usual things such as the guy giving me a place in society, financial stability or children. I am also fairly tall and would like a partner I can feel well proportioned next to, and I don’t get attracted too often. I hate the modern ways of dating with multiple partners, it’s too much emotional work for me.The only men I could find myself to be an equal partner to intellectually, had a phd.My needs are around emotional stability, communication, companionship.I’m seriously thinking of stopping any expectations about finding the right partner and just focus on my child, my health, my fitness, my friendships and my financial and professional success. I’ll find a way to manage my HL on my own. Maybe I can convince myself that this is already enough achievement in this life. But I always thought I would put my romantic partnership above everything else. I’m so disappointed.Any thoughts...?TL;DR: disappointed, am thinking I have no chance to find the right partner and should no longer try