Rejected

Tldr: don't be shitty to people you date. I finally understand those who feel hurt after a few dates. Dating can suck sometimes

After going through a rough break up of a living together 3 yr relationship, I was in a rough place. I felt very rejected from that break up as she called it off and moved out and I didn't want her too. Fast forward a bit, I've gone on first dates with like 5 diff people since, assuming I have nothing to lose and could use the practice. I didn't really expect to meet someone I liked because it just didn't seem like it would happen. To my amazement I did meet someone I liked. And we went out 3 times and finally made out at my house and things were going well. She would even tell me she liked me and was looking forward to hanging out. So I planned an abnormal date for the 4th time. She's in the middle of packing to move and I'm about to leave for a 1 month trip so we were trying to rush hanging out to get to know each other before I headed out.

My planned date was a couples massage and I would make dinner for her. And she had already agreed that she would sleep over but the rest was a surprise. So I bought the couples massage and all the groceries for the meal. And late last night, the night before our date, she sent me a text saying she could do it. She's got a lot going on and is overwhelmed and also has a lot of emotions going on during her move which reminds her about shitty stuff with her family. I asked her that if she was trying to just cut things off that it was ok and I'd rather just hear it straight up. She said that that wasn't it. But I sent her a long text explaining that I've been liking her and excited about what this could turn into. That was the wrong move (and I knew it as I was typing it out). She didn't reply till today, saying that after reading that text, this was too much for her and she wished me luck. So I paid for a couples massage and groceries and was looking forward to this all week...for nothing. I finally understand the people who feel hurt even though it's been little time. It interestingly enough brought up emotions from my break up which I'm still dealing with. But for the first time since the break up, I was really happy and looking forward to potentially dating this girl until the night before a big date she pulled the rug out from under me. And I knew she was looking forward (or at least that's what she was telling me) to doing the surprise date and sleeping over. So all in all I've had a rough day even though theoretically I barely knew this girl. Never woulda thought I'd feel like this. Rejection can be hard especially when that's a lot of what you've faced recently. But logically I understand that I'm better off without someone like that. It just felt nice to like someone again and feel like maybe I won't be single forever. Just a dude venting here. On the flip side it's nice to remember that there are people out there that I can grow to like!

Submitted May 25, 2019 at 07:21PM

Tldr: don't be shitty to people you date. I finally understand those who feel hurt after a few dates. Dating can suck sometimesAfter going through a rough break up of a living together 3 yr relationship, I was in a rough place. I felt very rejected from that break up as she called it off and moved out and I didn't want her too. Fast forward a bit, I've gone on first dates with like 5 diff people since, assuming I have nothing to lose and could use the practice. I didn't really expect to meet someone I liked because it just didn't seem like it would happen. To my amazement I did meet someone I liked. And we went out 3 times and finally made out at my house and things were going well. She would even tell me she liked me and was looking forward to hanging out. So I planned an abnormal date for the 4th time. She's in the middle of packing to move and I'm about to leave for a 1 month trip so we were trying to rush hanging out to get to know each other before I headed out.My planned date was a couples massage and I would make dinner for her. And she had already agreed that she would sleep over but the rest was a surprise. So I bought the couples massage and all the groceries for the meal. And late last night, the night before our date, she sent me a text saying she could do it. She's got a lot going on and is overwhelmed and also has a lot of emotions going on during her move which reminds her about shitty stuff with her family. I asked her that if she was trying to just cut things off that it was ok and I'd rather just hear it straight up. She said that that wasn't it. But I sent her a long text explaining that I've been liking her and excited about what this could turn into. That was the wrong move (and I knew it as I was typing it out). She didn't reply till today, saying that after reading that text, this was too much for her and she wished me luck. So I paid for a couples massage and groceries and was looking forward to this all week...for nothing. I finally understand the people who feel hurt even though it's been little time. It interestingly enough brought up emotions from my break up which I'm still dealing with. But for the first time since the break up, I was really happy and looking forward to potentially dating this girl until the night before a big date she pulled the rug out from under me. And I knew she was looking forward (or at least that's what she was telling me) to doing the surprise date and sleeping over. So all in all I've had a rough day even though theoretically I barely knew this girl. Never woulda thought I'd feel like this. Rejection can be hard especially when that's a lot of what you've faced recently. But logically I understand that I'm better off without someone like that. It just felt nice to like someone again and feel like maybe I won't be single forever. Just a dude venting here. On the flip side it's nice to remember that there are people out there that I can grow to like!