My(20f) partner(21m) responded to me being upset about a lack of effort by suggesting a break?

This morning I kind of blew up about feeling worthless because he doesnt make an effort to do things that people do in relationships to show how they feel. Think the 5 love languages.

It was a long conversation and he has responded saying maybe we should have a break but that's not what he wants.

I instigated a break a few months ago because I had to sort out some mental health things (which were triggered by a medication trial). I was freaking out everyday and figured that I needed a solid reason for myself that would force me to sort my problems out, rather than leaning on my partner for support. For example I found myself spiraling and using him to make myself feel better rather than actually solving my problems.

I feel like that was a justified reason for a break and am kind of blindsided by him suggesting one now. How are my problems of feeling undervalued going to be solved by having a break? It's like I told him that I want more effort put in and he responds by suggesting the exact opposite.

I don't even know how to reply let alone what I want to say. I don't want to be petty but I feel like saying; "Is this your way of telling me that you never want to put in effort and I should use the break to get used to it?"

I don't know how to respond and just need an outside perspective

tldr: bf's response to a request to put in more effort is to put in none at all

Submitted May 26, 2019 at 06:25AM

This morning I kind of blew up about feeling worthless because he doesnt make an effort to do things that people do in relationships to show how they feel. Think the 5 love languages.It was a long conversation and he has responded saying maybe we should have a break but that's not what he wants.I instigated a break a few months ago because I had to sort out some mental health things (which were triggered by a medication trial). I was freaking out everyday and figured that I needed a solid reason for myself that would force me to sort my problems out, rather than leaning on my partner for support. For example I found myself spiraling and using him to make myself feel better rather than actually solving my problems.I feel like that was a justified reason for a break and am kind of blindsided by him suggesting one now. How are my problems of feeling undervalued going to be solved by having a break? It's like I told him that I want more effort put in and he responds by suggesting the exact opposite.I don't even know how to reply let alone what I want to say. I don't want to be petty but I feel like saying; "Is this your way of telling me that you never want to put in effort and I should use the break to get used to it?"I don't know how to respond and just need an outside perspectivetldr: bf's response to a request to put in more effort is to put in none at all