My [16F] parents [40+ M/F] seem to show signs of abusive behaviour

I'm 16, and I've been a considerably good child. Made some mistakes here and there, like all teens do, but I have/had (depression hit me like a truck) great grades, I'm responsible, I'd like to believe that I'm kind, I'm good at a lot of things and I've been generally seen as and considered to be a young prodigy and one of the "smart kids". Now, a bit of our backstory: I'm Brazilian, but due to issues in our country we moved to the UK about a year ago. This is where my parents come in. My dad has never been around much, working from 6am to 10pm everyday when I was younger, he barely knows me now. My mom, on the other hand, got to spend a bit more time with me, but her temper gets the best of her and she loses control sometimes, which has made me terrified of her since I was young. She has hit me quite a lot of times and quite frequently when I was younger though it did get less frequent as time went on, both with her hands and with a flip flop. There is also the fact that they constantly say I'm ugly, dumb and that I'm not a good daughter. They want me to read their minds on a daily basis, they don't tell me when they want things or what they want, but they'll shout at me if I don't manage to somehow guess what they want. They told me when I was young that if I ever told anyone about them hitting me, I'd be taken away and put with a random family who would torture me. Recently, they told me that they think I am faking my depression, my panic attacks and my suicidal thoughts, so they did not care about my mental health, and refused to get help, so I had to go sort that out on my own. I am pansexual and questioning my gender, but I cannot come out no matter what as they have previously said that they'd mess the hell up of either one of their children if they came out. They constantly belittle my interests and thoughts, give me the silent treatment more than once a week no matter how small the mistakes are, and so on goes the list. This is all seen as ""normal"" behaviour in Brazil, and most parents do it. However, ever since I moved, my friends and my boyfriend, who are all the same age as me, have been horrified by the stories I tell about them, and they're concerned about how natural it all is to me. I had a troubled childhood, as I was physically and mentally bullied in school for around 7 years and things escalated to a very serious degree which I won't mention here, but I winded up on a hospital several times, and my parents were simply never there for me, so that makes me wonder whether I deal with it in a natural light because I've been in similar situations before, or if they are actually mistreating and abusing me. I tried to talk to them several times, but they start saying that I'm inconsiderate and I don't care about their feelings. They have also threatened to stop talking to me and feeding me if I complain about them again. They have also said, after I told them about my friends, that my friends and my boyfriend did not love me like they did, and that my boyfriend was just with me because he needed to be with someone and that he'd dump me on the first chance he got, so I shouldn't listen to them, and that I should respect and listen to my parents although they made it very clear that they had no need to listen to me or respect me. I'm not sure if I'm overreacting or if there's something wrong in there.

TL;DR: My parents physically and mentally harm me, everytime I try to complain they shift the blame onto me, I am now not sure if I'm overreacting.

Submitted May 26, 2019 at 06:48AM

I'm 16, and I've been a considerably good child. Made some mistakes here and there, like all teens do, but I have/had (depression hit me like a truck) great grades, I'm responsible, I'd like to believe that I'm kind, I'm good at a lot of things and I've been generally seen as and considered to be a young prodigy and one of the "smart kids". Now, a bit of our backstory: I'm Brazilian, but due to issues in our country we moved to the UK about a year ago. This is where my parents come in. My dad has never been around much, working from 6am to 10pm everyday when I was younger, he barely knows me now. My mom, on the other hand, got to spend a bit more time with me, but her temper gets the best of her and she loses control sometimes, which has made me terrified of her since I was young. She has hit me quite a lot of times and quite frequently when I was younger though it did get less frequent as time went on, both with her hands and with a flip flop. There is also the fact that they constantly say I'm ugly, dumb and that I'm not a good daughter. They want me to read their minds on a daily basis, they don't tell me when they want things or what they want, but they'll shout at me if I don't manage to somehow guess what they want. They told me when I was young that if I ever told anyone about them hitting me, I'd be taken away and put with a random family who would torture me. Recently, they told me that they think I am faking my depression, my panic attacks and my suicidal thoughts, so they did not care about my mental health, and refused to get help, so I had to go sort that out on my own. I am pansexual and questioning my gender, but I cannot come out no matter what as they have previously said that they'd mess the hell up of either one of their children if they came out. They constantly belittle my interests and thoughts, give me the silent treatment more than once a week no matter how small the mistakes are, and so on goes the list. This is all seen as ""normal"" behaviour in Brazil, and most parents do it. However, ever since I moved, my friends and my boyfriend, who are all the same age as me, have been horrified by the stories I tell about them, and they're concerned about how natural it all is to me. I had a troubled childhood, as I was physically and mentally bullied in school for around 7 years and things escalated to a very serious degree which I won't mention here, but I winded up on a hospital several times, and my parents were simply never there for me, so that makes me wonder whether I deal with it in a natural light because I've been in similar situations before, or if they are actually mistreating and abusing me. I tried to talk to them several times, but they start saying that I'm inconsiderate and I don't care about their feelings. They have also threatened to stop talking to me and feeding me if I complain about them again. They have also said, after I told them about my friends, that my friends and my boyfriend did not love me like they did, and that my boyfriend was just with me because he needed to be with someone and that he'd dump me on the first chance he got, so I shouldn't listen to them, and that I should respect and listen to my parents although they made it very clear that they had no need to listen to me or respect me. I'm not sure if I'm overreacting or if there's something wrong in there.TL;DR: My parents physically and mentally harm me, everytime I try to complain they shift the blame onto me, I am now not sure if I'm overreacting.