I [34M] hooked up with another woman tonight with my wife's permission and it was far from hot.

I grew up as a rather bookworm and class prefect. I cared more about studying and grades than dating or sex.

I lost my virginity at age 24 when I went on a trip to Amsterdam. I basically paid for a prostitute in the red light district because I had this constant worry that nobody wanted me and that women were secretly laughing at me. I felt like someone who belonged at /r/foreveralone.

I ended up meeting my wife two years after. She's my first girlfriend and the first person I've been with sexually that I'm attracted to and madly in love with.

We were playing a sex trivia card game where the confession came out of me. She learned that I watch porn and what porn I watch. She always knew I watched it, but never felt the need to confront me for it. My wife said she only watched porn when she was single. My wife then learned more about my kinks. She knows my kinks, but never if I wanted to play them out. Like maybe I'd like to be with a woman of another race or fuck in a gangbang. I don't know. I've not slept around so only having one vag to compare to is well you know.

My wife said that we could open our relationship and that I could sleep with someone else. She said I could do whatever I wanted within reason.

So we met a nice Danish lady on a subreddit who just moved to our neck of the woods. She agreed to our arrangement and so I fucked this lady in our bed while my wife went out with her friends.

My wife came home and I told her it was nice and that I might like to do it again, but would have to see. Wife seemed alright with that.

Honestly, I just wanted to cry. I know I agreed to doing it and was curious about what other women would feel like, but it felt wrong. I just missed my wife the entire time. I guess I love having sex with my wife because we share that connection which is something I could never get with some random chick. It didn't feel right. Something was off. The way the woman smelt. Her hair felt different. It almost felt like consensual rape roleplay if that's even a thing but probably isnt and is probably offensive to say.

I feel incredibly upset with myself. I hope I can come clean to my wife tonight. I'll never take her for granted again and I am def joining /r/nofap.

Has anyone else had similar experiences when they tried to open their marriage? Has anyone tried /r/nofap?

Submitted May 27, 2019 at 08:46PM

I grew up as a rather bookworm and class prefect. I cared more about studying and grades than dating or sex.I lost my virginity at age 24 when I went on a trip to Amsterdam. I basically paid for a prostitute in the red light district because I had this constant worry that nobody wanted me and that women were secretly laughing at me. I felt like someone who belonged at /r/foreveralone.I ended up meeting my wife two years after. She's my first girlfriend and the first person I've been with sexually that I'm attracted to and madly in love with.We were playing a sex trivia card game where the confession came out of me. She learned that I watch porn and what porn I watch. She always knew I watched it, but never felt the need to confront me for it. My wife said she only watched porn when she was single. My wife then learned more about my kinks. She knows my kinks, but never if I wanted to play them out. Like maybe I'd like to be with a woman of another race or fuck in a gangbang. I don't know. I've not slept around so only having one vag to compare to is well you know.My wife said that we could open our relationship and that I could sleep with someone else. She said I could do whatever I wanted within reason.So we met a nice Danish lady on a subreddit who just moved to our neck of the woods. She agreed to our arrangement and so I fucked this lady in our bed while my wife went out with her friends.My wife came home and I told her it was nice and that I might like to do it again, but would have to see. Wife seemed alright with that.Honestly, I just wanted to cry. I know I agreed to doing it and was curious about what other women would feel like, but it felt wrong. I just missed my wife the entire time. I guess I love having sex with my wife because we share that connection which is something I could never get with some random chick. It didn't feel right. Something was off. The way the woman smelt. Her hair felt different. It almost felt like consensual rape roleplay if that's even a thing but probably isnt and is probably offensive to say.I feel incredibly upset with myself. I hope I can come clean to my wife tonight. I'll never take her for granted again and I am def joining /r/nofap.Has anyone else had similar experiences when they tried to open their marriage? Has anyone tried /r/nofap?