So I asked my co-worker out....

So I'm in a bit of an awkward situation and would like some feedback or opinions...

I've been attracted to a female co-worker for a few years now, but never pursued it due to the slippery slope work relationships can bring. I've also been in an on/off again relationship with an ex that's finally in the past. So timing really hasn't been ideal either.

However, during that time we've never really engaged in lengthy conversations, usually it's the basic "What's up?" in passing. She works in a different department that doesn't involve my role, so it's rare we ever cross paths, and when I would run into her in the break room, I really didn't know what to talk to her about, because she always seemed shy and would avoid eye contact. I just couldn't figure her out.

Anyways, we randomly ran into each other at a brewery a few months back and struck up a conversation (with the help of a few IPAs) that seemed to flow effortlessly. The following week at work, she walked past my desk a few times, but once again avoided eye contact or would act like she was looking at her phone. I was like, "Damn, did I say something wrong?" I mean we had a basic conversation that was strictly professional. Anyways, I didn't give it much thought and continued on as business as usual.

Then about a month ago, we randomly ran into each other again outside of work, and hit it off effortlessly again. I kept conversation professional and never hinted that I was attracted to her or anything, just trying to get to know her. The next week in the office, same thing. She walks by my desk and doesn't acknowledge me or make eye contact, until one day a few weeks later she walks up out of the blue and starts talking. It surprised the hell out of me, but I was cool with it. After the conversation ended she immediately started sending me IMs, asking me about events on my side of town and some things about myself.

At this point my male co-workers were like, "She made the first move, now you have to follow up. Pursue it!" To which I was in denial, still skeptical and trying to avoid the pitfalls of a work relationship. However, the following week I made a point to drop by her desk and keep the conversations flowing.

At this point, I decided that if I was ever going to ask her out now was the time. So not wanting to put her on the spot at her desk or wait for another "random" run in outside of work or in the break room. I sent her an IM and simply asked if she'd be interested in grabbing a drink outside of work sometime. She said sure, but said it would have to be in a week or so, since she has some family commitments and was traveling on business the whole next week.

I proceeded to giver her my number, and invited her to text me when she's back traveling, and we could figure something out. She then gave me her number (without me asking).

Not wanting to come off as clingy and really trying to walk the tightrope with this being a co-worker. I waited until about 5 days and asked texted her, asking how her work trip was going? She never replied...

It's been over a week now, and still no reply. I've seen her back in the office, and it's a little awkward. She's changed her routine and no longer walks past my desk. So I'm just perplexed AF. Why would she just not say no? If she's not interested or why would she even give me her number?

Any suggestions on how I should handle it? I'm thinking that I should just drop it & it's probably not worth it. But at the same time, I don't want there to be an awkwardness at work, and I should somehow follow up. I'd much rather just be friends than deal with the awkwardness.

Thanks!!

Submitted May 03, 2019 at 08:01PM

So I'm in a bit of an awkward situation and would like some feedback or opinions...I've been attracted to a female co-worker for a few years now, but never pursued it due to the slippery slope work relationships can bring. I've also been in an on/off again relationship with an ex that's finally in the past. So timing really hasn't been ideal either.However, during that time we've never really engaged in lengthy conversations, usually it's the basic "What's up?" in passing. She works in a different department that doesn't involve my role, so it's rare we ever cross paths, and when I would run into her in the break room, I really didn't know what to talk to her about, because she always seemed shy and would avoid eye contact. I just couldn't figure her out.Anyways, we randomly ran into each other at a brewery a few months back and struck up a conversation (with the help of a few IPAs) that seemed to flow effortlessly. The following week at work, she walked past my desk a few times, but once again avoided eye contact or would act like she was looking at her phone. I was like, "Damn, did I say something wrong?" I mean we had a basic conversation that was strictly professional. Anyways, I didn't give it much thought and continued on as business as usual.Then about a month ago, we randomly ran into each other again outside of work, and hit it off effortlessly again. I kept conversation professional and never hinted that I was attracted to her or anything, just trying to get to know her. The next week in the office, same thing. She walks by my desk and doesn't acknowledge me or make eye contact, until one day a few weeks later she walks up out of the blue and starts talking. It surprised the hell out of me, but I was cool with it. After the conversation ended she immediately started sending me IMs, asking me about events on my side of town and some things about myself.At this point my male co-workers were like, "She made the first move, now you have to follow up. Pursue it!" To which I was in denial, still skeptical and trying to avoid the pitfalls of a work relationship. However, the following week I made a point to drop by her desk and keep the conversations flowing.At this point, I decided that if I was ever going to ask her out now was the time. So not wanting to put her on the spot at her desk or wait for another "random" run in outside of work or in the break room. I sent her an IM and simply asked if she'd be interested in grabbing a drink outside of work sometime. She said sure, but said it would have to be in a week or so, since she has some family commitments and was traveling on business the whole next week.I proceeded to giver her my number, and invited her to text me when she's back traveling, and we could figure something out. She then gave me her number (without me asking).Not wanting to come off as clingy and really trying to walk the tightrope with this being a co-worker. I waited until about 5 days and asked texted her, asking how her work trip was going? She never replied...It's been over a week now, and still no reply. I've seen her back in the office, and it's a little awkward. She's changed her routine and no longer walks past my desk. So I'm just perplexed AF. Why would she just not say no? If she's not interested or why would she even give me her number?Any suggestions on how I should handle it? I'm thinking that I should just drop it & it's probably not worth it. But at the same time, I don't want there to be an awkwardness at work, and I should somehow follow up. I'd much rather just be friends than deal with the awkwardness.Thanks!!