Dating a high school dreamboat in recovery.

I (20F) will start this post out by stating that I am in recovery. 100 days clean about a week ago. It is often said that you don’t date for your first year of recovery. This was the advice I was given in rehab.

This has been fine so far. I have a major crush on one of my friends (22M) from high school. We’ve been talking consistently since before I was admitted, and he’s an amazing person and great support. I’ve been refraining from making a move because I feel it necessary to work on myself.

Working on myself has been great so far. Since getting out of rehab, I’ve been the happiest and healthiest I’ve been in probably 9 years. It’s been a long and awful journey, but I feel so great right now.

Not dating was going fine UNTIL yesterday, when myself and this dreamboat attended the same party. I was talking to a mutual friend, who was talking about someone’s secret girlfriend of three months. I asked for clarification and thought she was talking about my crush. I immediately got a HUGE pit in my stomach and thought I was going to throw up. (I had also consumed a lot of junk at the party, so this was not surprising.) However, I misunderstood as they were talking about someone else with the same name.

Obviously I was relieved, but I feel very conflicted because I realize how horrible I will feel if someone snatched this kid up before I have a chance. I know I will be absolutely devastated if I let him get away.

Have any of you been in a similar predicament? How do I decide if the boy of my dreams is worth the possible distraction from working on myself?

Submitted May 03, 2019 at 10:13PM

I (20F) will start this post out by stating that I am in recovery. 100 days clean about a week ago. It is often said that you don’t date for your first year of recovery. This was the advice I was given in rehab.This has been fine so far. I have a major crush on one of my friends (22M) from high school. We’ve been talking consistently since before I was admitted, and he’s an amazing person and great support. I’ve been refraining from making a move because I feel it necessary to work on myself.Working on myself has been great so far. Since getting out of rehab, I’ve been the happiest and healthiest I’ve been in probably 9 years. It’s been a long and awful journey, but I feel so great right now.Not dating was going fine UNTIL yesterday, when myself and this dreamboat attended the same party. I was talking to a mutual friend, who was talking about someone’s secret girlfriend of three months. I asked for clarification and thought she was talking about my crush. I immediately got a HUGE pit in my stomach and thought I was going to throw up. (I had also consumed a lot of junk at the party, so this was not surprising.) However, I misunderstood as they were talking about someone else with the same name.Obviously I was relieved, but I feel very conflicted because I realize how horrible I will feel if someone snatched this kid up before I have a chance. I know I will be absolutely devastated if I let him get away.Have any of you been in a similar predicament? How do I decide if the boy of my dreams is worth the possible distraction from working on myself?