Can someone explain me how the need of personal space works?

After 2 months of being in a close relationship with my boyfriend[24M], he told me that he is actually a personal space guy.

Apparently he was a personal-space-defender his whole life and he has never been in a serious close relationship with anyone before, because he was just refusing to share his personal space. It was hard for me to process that information because I never got to know that side of him, he was very welcoming with me from the first day we met.

He told me I am the only person he let that close to him for such a long time, in his entire life, and he doesn't understand how was that possible. This information made me feel very special, but also scared and confused in the same time. He didn't try to change our relationship, he didn't ask for a break or something, he just explained me that he is going to need a walk alone with his own thoughts from time to time.

I don't know what to do now in order to not overwhelm him with my presence and make the relationship implode. I never understood this need of personal space, I never felt it with people I like - I mean, if you are my SO or a good friend, you can be all over me 24/7, I don't mind.

In my mind, him needing space from me means "he doesn't like me anymore" and that make me anxious and less willing to give him what he wants. Can someone explain me how that works and what should I do? Any advice/explanation is appreciated!



Submitted May 03, 2019 at 11:15AM

After 2 months of being in a close relationship with my boyfriend[24M], he told me that he is actually a personal space guy.Apparently he was a personal-space-defender his whole life and he has never been in a serious close relationship with anyone before, because he was just refusing to share his personal space. It was hard for me to process that information because I never got to know that side of him, he was very welcoming with me from the first day we met.He told me I am the only person he let that close to him for such a long time, in his entire life, and he doesn't understand how was that possible. This information made me feel very special, but also scared and confused in the same time. He didn't try to change our relationship, he didn't ask for a break or something, he just explained me that he is going to need a walk alone with his own thoughts from time to time.I don't know what to do now in order to not overwhelm him with my presence and make the relationship implode. I never understood this need of personal space, I never felt it with people I like - I mean, if you are my SO or a good friend, you can be all over me 24/7, I don't mind.In my mind, him needing space from me means "he doesn't like me anymore" and that make me anxious and less willing to give him what he wants. Can someone explain me how that works and what should I do? Any advice/explanation is appreciated!
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