What do you and your spouse do to aplit up chores?

I find myself ending up stuck with most of the household chores on a weekly basis. My husband does clean, but it is often a faint attempt. He current job is to clean, so I know he knows how to do it properly. I don't even ask anymore because I am tired of asking. If I just leave his dishes and mess it just piles up. If I clean it, there is hardly ever a thank you. I feel like in his mind, since I'm "better" at cleaning that I should just do it, but I work even longer hours than him and I clean all day at work too. I do most of the cooking as well because he isn't that good of a cook either. I try to thank him every time he does clean. Now that we have a baby on the way, I don't want to be the stereotypical mom that cleans and cooks and waits on everyone hand and foot. I feel like I am taken for granted and have had several discussions, we also fought about it before. His mother never made him clean and I feel that's part of where it comes from. I don't like seeing my husband as an ungrateful teenager, but the longer it goes on the more and more I get upset by it. We've been married for almost 5 years and I feel that he isn't respecting my time. Just because I am "good" at cleaning and cooking doesn't mean I should be burdened by running a household for two grown adults. I have told him all of this, but it never sticks. When I ask he may do one or two things and then that's it until next month. I ask if we can do a list, but he just rejects the idea. I just want him to regularly help with cleaning, like 10-20% would make me more than happy.

Submitted April 07, 2019 at 04:11AM

I find myself ending up stuck with most of the household chores on a weekly basis. My husband does clean, but it is often a faint attempt. He current job is to clean, so I know he knows how to do it properly. I don't even ask anymore because I am tired of asking. If I just leave his dishes and mess it just piles up. If I clean it, there is hardly ever a thank you. I feel like in his mind, since I'm "better" at cleaning that I should just do it, but I work even longer hours than him and I clean all day at work too. I do most of the cooking as well because he isn't that good of a cook either. I try to thank him every time he does clean. Now that we have a baby on the way, I don't want to be the stereotypical mom that cleans and cooks and waits on everyone hand and foot. I feel like I am taken for granted and have had several discussions, we also fought about it before. His mother never made him clean and I feel that's part of where it comes from. I don't like seeing my husband as an ungrateful teenager, but the longer it goes on the more and more I get upset by it. We've been married for almost 5 years and I feel that he isn't respecting my time. Just because I am "good" at cleaning and cooking doesn't mean I should be burdened by running a household for two grown adults. I have told him all of this, but it never sticks. When I ask he may do one or two things and then that's it until next month. I ask if we can do a list, but he just rejects the idea. I just want him to regularly help with cleaning, like 10-20% would make me more than happy.