Should I (23M) be truthful when breaking up with my girlfriend (22F)?

So we've been dating for 8 months now. A lot of things have piled up and I don't think I can continue with this relationship. A brief overview of reasons are:

  1. I don't feel like a priority. She doesn't answer my texts for hours even though she's been online. Any free time she gets she either studies or naps and I get pushed way down. I rarely ever get her full attention
  2. We only do what she wants, otherwise she throws a tantrum. We exclusively hang out at hers. The only time she gives me her food is if she's planned it or if it's extra and she doesn't want it. If I take a bite out of her ice cream in the freezer she will lose it.
  3. I've been going through mental health issues (which I've been getting professional help for) and she doesn't even bother to ask me how I'm doing. She doesn't talk about it until I bring it up.
  4. She puts me down a lot, albeit in a funny banter kind of way but she does that way more than she compliments me or says nice things.
  5. She doesn't encourage or support me in my hobbies. She belittles my taste in cars, she never makes any comments when I play the guitar for her and lot of other things.

(You can also have a look at my post history for more details)

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So my question is, I could either blame the failed relationship on med school and our busy schedules and tell her it's not her fault, or I could be truthful and tell her why I'm leaving.

I want to do this by minimizing how much it'll hurt her, which the first option would favor, but I also want her to do better in her future relationships. The second option would probably hurt her more but it might be better off in the long run.

​

Edit: Just to add, this is mine and her first relationship. I've never broken up with anyone in my life.

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TL;DR: I want to end things, should I lie and tell her it's not her fault or should I list real reasons and tell her it actually is her fault?



Submitted April 21, 2019 at 05:25AM

So we've been dating for 8 months now. A lot of things have piled up and I don't think I can continue with this relationship. A brief overview of reasons are:I don't feel like a priority. She doesn't answer my texts for hours even though she's been online. Any free time she gets she either studies or naps and I get pushed way down. I rarely ever get her full attentionWe only do what she wants, otherwise she throws a tantrum. We exclusively hang out at hers. The only time she gives me her food is if she's planned it or if it's extra and she doesn't want it. If I take a bite out of her ice cream in the freezer she will lose it.I've been going through mental health issues (which I've been getting professional help for) and she doesn't even bother to ask me how I'm doing. She doesn't talk about it until I bring it up.She puts me down a lot, albeit in a funny banter kind of way but she does that way more than she compliments me or says nice things.She doesn't encourage or support me in my hobbies. She belittles my taste in cars, she never makes any comments when I play the guitar for her and lot of other things.(You can also have a look at my post history for more details)​So my question is, I could either blame the failed relationship on med school and our busy schedules and tell her it's not her fault, or I could be truthful and tell her why I'm leaving.I want to do this by minimizing how much it'll hurt her, which the first option would favor, but I also want her to do better in her future relationships. The second option would probably hurt her more but it might be better off in the long run.​Edit: Just to add, this is mine and her first relationship. I've never broken up with anyone in my life.​TL;DR: I want to end things, should I lie and tell her it's not her fault or should I list real reasons and tell her it actually is her fault?
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