Do I have to fake oragsms to be happy?

Startling enlightenment over the last few weeks. I end up in relationships where my partner does not want to have sex w me. Physical attraction is there and we typically spend lots of time together but after the first few months sex and even cuddling fizzles out.

This confuses me to great end because I love these things. I show up and participate in physical engagements enthusiastically early on because that’s what I want in a relationship, but somehow it never sustains. Even when it’s like REALLY GOOD in the beginning.

But I will say, I’m not a woman that climaxes from intercourse often. It’s exceedingly rare. And I don’t fake orgasms. It’s just not me. I try to be an empowered woman and have integrity so I tell people up front this is my track record. And I don’t fake it. Sometimes I’ll ask for oral sex but not always. Am I crushing these men’s confidence? Totally turning them ice cold against me because in their minds they ‘aren’t pleasing me’?

Or is a consistent physically affectionate relationship too much to ask? Is this a fantasy? I get that sex typically cools off after a honeymoon period but I feel like a couple times a week is sustainable. And the cuddling. I want to be held damnit!

I’ve gotten so much better about dating people that I truly see a future with, which is good for my prospects but it makes it so much harder to let go. So I’m dreading the advice “go find what you want.” Also yes, maybe men should be confident enough to negotiate this dynamic but I want the nitty gritty: are they?

What does Reddit think about my conundrum? Have other women had this experience? Should I just start faking it??

TLDR: I worry the fact that I’m honest about not climaxing from intercourse is ruining sex in my relationships.

Submitted April 20, 2019 at 03:20PM

Startling enlightenment over the last few weeks. I end up in relationships where my partner does not want to have sex w me. Physical attraction is there and we typically spend lots of time together but after the first few months sex and even cuddling fizzles out.This confuses me to great end because I love these things. I show up and participate in physical engagements enthusiastically early on because that’s what I want in a relationship, but somehow it never sustains. Even when it’s like REALLY GOOD in the beginning.But I will say, I’m not a woman that climaxes from intercourse often. It’s exceedingly rare. And I don’t fake orgasms. It’s just not me. I try to be an empowered woman and have integrity so I tell people up front this is my track record. And I don’t fake it. Sometimes I’ll ask for oral sex but not always. Am I crushing these men’s confidence? Totally turning them ice cold against me because in their minds they ‘aren’t pleasing me’?Or is a consistent physically affectionate relationship too much to ask? Is this a fantasy? I get that sex typically cools off after a honeymoon period but I feel like a couple times a week is sustainable. And the cuddling. I want to be held damnit!I’ve gotten so much better about dating people that I truly see a future with, which is good for my prospects but it makes it so much harder to let go. So I’m dreading the advice “go find what you want.” Also yes, maybe men should be confident enough to negotiate this dynamic but I want the nitty gritty: are they?What does Reddit think about my conundrum? Have other women had this experience? Should I just start faking it??TLDR: I worry the fact that I’m honest about not climaxing from intercourse is ruining sex in my relationships.