I [19M] caught my girlfriend [18F] in a lie about her sexual past. Seeking advice.

Using a throwaway since I'll be talking about specifics and because my girlfriend also browses reddit.

My girlfriend and I have been dating for roughly 8 months since the start of University and have been going incredibly strong. I love her to pieces and I feel as if we really click well together. Just for some context, she was my first girlfriend and essentially who I did all my sexual firsts with and I was her second boyfriend.

Early on in our relationship we briefly discussed our sexual past. She had mentioned that she had one prior sexual partner as a hookup but quickly avoided the topic afterward. From my perspective, it seems like she was uncomfortable and somewhat ashamed about the entire situation. So, I didn't get too many specifics. The information came as a bit of a surprise and, to be honest, I was a bit saddened but also understood that it was in the past.

However, this is where it gets tricky. Roughly a week ago while on her computer I found a suspicious text leading me to the summer before college indicating that she had lied to me about her sexual past. Before coming to college, she attended a two-week summer camp wherein the span of those two weeks she had had sex with two other guys on multiple occasions and hooked up with 4 other guys. While I don't typically see myself as the person to be overly jealous, I found this news to be devastating. After all, she had been with 6 guys within the span of 2 weeks. Not to mention that the majority of the guys were in college and significantly older than her. I felt betrayed that my girlfriend chose to actively lie about this and hid it from me for 8 months. Honesty has always been my number one priority in relationships.

Personally speaking, I view sex as an incredibly intimate and emotional act and so it pains me to know that potentially my girlfriend does not view that in the same light given her past history of casual sex. At first, she denied it but eventually came to profusely apologizing stating that she hid it to "protect our relationship". Her reasoning was that if I had known prior I would have never dated her at all and that she was "not proud" of what she did that summer. She tells me she's a changed person and now condemns her previous actions and casual sex but I can't help but feel cautious about her statements. I sat with this new information for a while before confronting her.

However, I can't help but feel disgusted and utterly betrayed by what she did. When I see her I can't help but see all the guys that have potentially been with her. I know I love this girl but I feel an emotional and moral disconnect with her. I realize it's wrong to solely judge someone by their past but is it also not true that someone's past decisions dictate what kind of person they are now? I simply feel as if a girl that could be so casual with her body in a span of two weeks is not someone with the matching values as me. Or am I the one being immature and not letting go of the past? I truly do not know what to do: break up with a girl I love or accept the past but be pained by the constant reminders.

tl;dr -- Girlfriend only claims to have sex with one person before dating me. Eight months into the relationship I discovered that she hid from me many hookups from the previous summer. I am hurt by the fact that she lied to me and am also concerned by a moral disconnect due to casual sex and need advice as to what to do.

Thank you.

Submitted April 21, 2019 at 06:55AM

Using a throwaway since I'll be talking about specifics and because my girlfriend also browses reddit.My girlfriend and I have been dating for roughly 8 months since the start of University and have been going incredibly strong. I love her to pieces and I feel as if we really click well together. Just for some context, she was my first girlfriend and essentially who I did all my sexual firsts with and I was her second boyfriend.Early on in our relationship we briefly discussed our sexual past. She had mentioned that she had one prior sexual partner as a hookup but quickly avoided the topic afterward. From my perspective, it seems like she was uncomfortable and somewhat ashamed about the entire situation. So, I didn't get too many specifics. The information came as a bit of a surprise and, to be honest, I was a bit saddened but also understood that it was in the past.However, this is where it gets tricky. Roughly a week ago while on her computer I found a suspicious text leading me to the summer before college indicating that she had lied to me about her sexual past. Before coming to college, she attended a two-week summer camp wherein the span of those two weeks she had had sex with two other guys on multiple occasions and hooked up with 4 other guys. While I don't typically see myself as the person to be overly jealous, I found this news to be devastating. After all, she had been with 6 guys within the span of 2 weeks. Not to mention that the majority of the guys were in college and significantly older than her. I felt betrayed that my girlfriend chose to actively lie about this and hid it from me for 8 months. Honesty has always been my number one priority in relationships.Personally speaking, I view sex as an incredibly intimate and emotional act and so it pains me to know that potentially my girlfriend does not view that in the same light given her past history of casual sex. At first, she denied it but eventually came to profusely apologizing stating that she hid it to "protect our relationship". Her reasoning was that if I had known prior I would have never dated her at all and that she was "not proud" of what she did that summer. She tells me she's a changed person and now condemns her previous actions and casual sex but I can't help but feel cautious about her statements. I sat with this new information for a while before confronting her.However, I can't help but feel disgusted and utterly betrayed by what she did. When I see her I can't help but see all the guys that have potentially been with her. I know I love this girl but I feel an emotional and moral disconnect with her. I realize it's wrong to solely judge someone by their past but is it also not true that someone's past decisions dictate what kind of person they are now? I simply feel as if a girl that could be so casual with her body in a span of two weeks is not someone with the matching values as me. Or am I the one being immature and not letting go of the past? I truly do not know what to do: break up with a girl I love or accept the past but be pained by the constant reminders.tl;dr -- Girlfriend only claims to have sex with one person before dating me. Eight months into the relationship I discovered that she hid from me many hookups from the previous summer. I am hurt by the fact that she lied to me and am also concerned by a moral disconnect due to casual sex and need advice as to what to do.Thank you.