I'm [24/F] having difficulty getting over my ex [24/M]. How did you all get past break ups and heal?

We broke up a month ago, initiated no contact on April 2nd, but agreed we would reach out in the beginning of June. I tried going on Tinder and Hinge just to meet new people and get to know them platonicly. I was trying to fill the void in my heart, but it made me want my ex even more. I removed myself from there, but before I did, I saw him on there and panicked over it a bit. When him and his ex broke up, he took to a dating app and slept with someone and spoke with a few others fairly quickly after their split. (They were together for 8 years). I felt like a rebound to be honest, but I had fallen for him hard and constantly fought with myself over cutting him off. Anyway, when I saw him on there, I "confirmed" it for myself that I wasn't anything special to him. But, regardless of how bad I feel about that "fact" (story I'm telling myself), and whatever else happened in our relationship, the days without him are getting progressively harder. I don't understand why either... I've taken to learning the guitar and piano, I joined a fencing club, I'm starting EMT school in May, I’m attending self-help seminars, going out with friends to parties and clubs occasionally, focusing on school, learning a new language... but, nothing is helping. I miss my best friend. I miss the friendship we had... I felt like he was my number one fan, but realistically I know he wasn't :/ I was his though and still am in spirit... He went to New Hampshire for a convention/workshop at his dream job and all I kept doing was thinking about how I hope he had a great time, made new connections, and gets the position one day... How his birthday is next week, and I hope his friends and family make him feel loved and special, how I hope one of his students know/remember and tell everyone, so they can wish him a hbd...how he's going to Florida soon and that I hope he has a grand time. I want him happy. More than anything in the world...I really loved and still love him. I try not to think about him. I try to retrain my thoughts, but it's so fucking difficult when you spent 3 months constantly up one another’s butt.

sigh

Sometimes I wake up in the morning and the song "Too Easy" by Lawrence runs through my mind and I break down like a baby...going back to square one. In my heart, come June, I feel like he will already be moved on. Would even have forgotten to reach out. :/ And, if that happens, it will be all okay...because at the end of the day, I just want "victor" happy. I want him to be loved and to find his dream girl, even if it isn't me.

So Redditors. How did you cope with the loss of your best friend?

TL;DR - I can't get over my ex no matter how hard I try. What are some ways you coped after a messy break up? How long did it take? Did you ever truly move on?

EDIT: I'm sorry for any typos. I'm on mobile.

Submitted April 21, 2019 at 04:51AM

We broke up a month ago, initiated no contact on April 2nd, but agreed we would reach out in the beginning of June. I tried going on Tinder and Hinge just to meet new people and get to know them platonicly. I was trying to fill the void in my heart, but it made me want my ex even more. I removed myself from there, but before I did, I saw him on there and panicked over it a bit. When him and his ex broke up, he took to a dating app and slept with someone and spoke with a few others fairly quickly after their split. (They were together for 8 years). I felt like a rebound to be honest, but I had fallen for him hard and constantly fought with myself over cutting him off. Anyway, when I saw him on there, I "confirmed" it for myself that I wasn't anything special to him. But, regardless of how bad I feel about that "fact" (story I'm telling myself), and whatever else happened in our relationship, the days without him are getting progressively harder. I don't understand why either... I've taken to learning the guitar and piano, I joined a fencing club, I'm starting EMT school in May, I’m attending self-help seminars, going out with friends to parties and clubs occasionally, focusing on school, learning a new language... but, nothing is helping. I miss my best friend. I miss the friendship we had... I felt like he was my number one fan, but realistically I know he wasn't :/ I was his though and still am in spirit... He went to New Hampshire for a convention/workshop at his dream job and all I kept doing was thinking about how I hope he had a great time, made new connections, and gets the position one day... How his birthday is next week, and I hope his friends and family make him feel loved and special, how I hope one of his students know/remember and tell everyone, so they can wish him a hbd...how he's going to Florida soon and that I hope he has a grand time. I want him happy. More than anything in the world...I really loved and still love him. I try not to think about him. I try to retrain my thoughts, but it's so fucking difficult when you spent 3 months constantly up one another’s butt.sighSometimes I wake up in the morning and the song "Too Easy" by Lawrence runs through my mind and I break down like a baby...going back to square one. In my heart, come June, I feel like he will already be moved on. Would even have forgotten to reach out. :/ And, if that happens, it will be all okay...because at the end of the day, I just want "victor" happy. I want him to be loved and to find his dream girl, even if it isn't me.So Redditors. How did you cope with the loss of your best friend?TL;DR - I can't get over my ex no matter how hard I try. What are some ways you coped after a messy break up? How long did it take? Did you ever truly move on?EDIT: I'm sorry for any typos. I'm on mobile.