Would you date someone if they were dating multiple people?

I started seeing(?) or dating someone a few weeks ago. We knew each other from work (same company, different work sites) and had an attraction toward each other but never acted on it because we were in another relationship at the time.

She was dating other people before she hooked up with me. I told her that I don't like and don't date multiple people at once. Since we've been seeing each other, she voluntarily put a pause on her dating apps and had been putting off or deferring from seeing the other guys. Despite this, I guess I'm the first guy she's opened up to as much - the cuddling and extra intimacy after sex. (She has had sex with the other guys)

The last time I was in the dating scene prior to this person was 15-20 years ago before a long term relationship that had ended about 7-8 months ago. I am unsure about the unwritten and unspoken rules of dating. At that time when I was dating, if you hooked up with someone, it was understood that you'd be exclusive.

Last night, we were joking on text about pictures we sent each other (none of them risque or condemning but still pictures with a personal intimate touch) and I texted how I wouldn't want to share with anyone else (forgot to add the word picture in the text). I guess that omission had her quickly and briefly move to the exclusivity talk. She brought up again that she has put her dating apps on pause and has deferred guys that she connected before seeing me. I interpreted that she is still interested in seeing them and responded that it's her choice but to let me know what she decides. She replies that we'll talk about it later but we continue to talk the following day (today) like normal. I feel like these past few weeks, our actions have moved quicker than usual in a dating sense like exchanging and keep each other's clothes, sleeping overnight, occasionally kisses and hugs in public outside of work.

How should I have handle this? How have you normally handled this? I guess I'm thankful that she has voluntarily stopped seeing the other guys to focus on me, but I also took our talk last night that she may soon resume seeing the other guys.

I'm assuming dating multiple people is the norm but for someone like me who doesn't want to date or see multiple people at once, should I move on, wait or continue this route because we've only been seeing each other for a few weeks until she makes a firm choice?



Submitted May 24, 2019 at 01:51AM

I started seeing(?) or dating someone a few weeks ago. We knew each other from work (same company, different work sites) and had an attraction toward each other but never acted on it because we were in another relationship at the time.She was dating other people before she hooked up with me. I told her that I don't like and don't date multiple people at once. Since we've been seeing each other, she voluntarily put a pause on her dating apps and had been putting off or deferring from seeing the other guys. Despite this, I guess I'm the first guy she's opened up to as much - the cuddling and extra intimacy after sex. (She has had sex with the other guys)The last time I was in the dating scene prior to this person was 15-20 years ago before a long term relationship that had ended about 7-8 months ago. I am unsure about the unwritten and unspoken rules of dating. At that time when I was dating, if you hooked up with someone, it was understood that you'd be exclusive.Last night, we were joking on text about pictures we sent each other (none of them risque or condemning but still pictures with a personal intimate touch) and I texted how I wouldn't want to share with anyone else (forgot to add the word picture in the text). I guess that omission had her quickly and briefly move to the exclusivity talk. She brought up again that she has put her dating apps on pause and has deferred guys that she connected before seeing me. I interpreted that she is still interested in seeing them and responded that it's her choice but to let me know what she decides. She replies that we'll talk about it later but we continue to talk the following day (today) like normal. I feel like these past few weeks, our actions have moved quicker than usual in a dating sense like exchanging and keep each other's clothes, sleeping overnight, occasionally kisses and hugs in public outside of work.How should I have handle this? How have you normally handled this? I guess I'm thankful that she has voluntarily stopped seeing the other guys to focus on me, but I also took our talk last night that she may soon resume seeing the other guys.I'm assuming dating multiple people is the norm but for someone like me who doesn't want to date or see multiple people at once, should I move on, wait or continue this route because we've only been seeing each other for a few weeks until she makes a firm choice?
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