What Do You Do When The One You Love Marries Another?

I REALLY NEED TO KNOW IF ANYONE HAS EXPERIENCED A LOSS LIKE THIS AND HOW DO YOU CONTINUE TO MOVE ON WITHOUT BEING MISERABLE INSIDE!

Long story made short, I don't believe in love at first site or the idea that you have one soul mate. At least, I thought I didn't. Until I met this one guy.

He through me off completely. The first time we every talked we ended up chatting for 6 hours and it felt like seconds had gone by. The first time we met it was like a scene from a movie in the way he looked at me and the way I felt. I honestly didnt believe I could ever feel the way he made me feel. We both became obsessed with each other and couldn't spend enough time together. There was this insane chemistry we had on every level. I couldn't believe I met someone like this. For the first time ever, I felt 100% confident that I was dating the man I could die happy with.

On our second date I asked him about his past, he mentioned he had been engaged when he was younger, but she cheated and they broke up and they were no longer in contact. He claimed to be 100% done with that relationship.He told me her name so I looked to see if he still had her on instagram . He did, but by the end of the week he unfollowed her! Which gave me so much confidence that he really was leaving her behind and ready to move on with me. After all, he said they had not spoken in over a year.

A week later I get a text from him saying he can not continue seeing me. I asked why and he gave me some lame excuse. I checked his instagram and sure enough.......HE RE-FOLLOWED HIS EX!

I then knew that she most likely reached out again after he unfollowed her and this time it worked.

I couldn't believe it....the only man I felt this crazy connection with.....leaving me for his cheating ex?!? I WAS A TRAIN WRECK EMOTIONALLY! My heart was in my stomach for weeks. I got little to no sleep for weeks. Ive never been depressed, but this caused me to go into a deep depression. I almost lost by job. I rear ended a car falling asleep on the way to work, I was so sleep depraved. I couldn't beg for him back, he wanted to be with her. But I still was so madly in Love with him.

A year later, they are engaged ....I slipped into a depression again when I heard the news. I cried for days.

Every time I try to go on a date and try to move on...no one compares to him. AND BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY IM TRYING TO NOT COMPARE AND MOVE ON!

Today I found out.....They are married now and I AM A MESS! Knowing the one man I absolutely fell in love with is the husband of some girl who cheated on him before! I want him to want me but its too late. I feel like ....I will never met someone like him. I just want him and I cant move on. Im on dating apps but no one is like him. Sometimes I can go a week without thinking of him.....but thats as good as it gets

It has been almost 3 years now and I cant get over it. HELP......ANYONE ELSE GOING THROUGH THIS? Just to know I am not alone would help me not to feel so pathetic and crazy. Im a very strong independent women. Enneagram 8. I'm not use to feeling like this. It Is Hell!

I feel like Im going to die knowing the only man I Loved, I couldn't spend my life with. Almost every day I think of how I could have prevented losing him. What do I do?

PS - I have already invested into grief counseling.....with no luck

also tried just not thinking about it and moving on....but its always a temporary fix....

TL;DR: THE ONLY MAN IVE EVER BEEN GENUINELY HAPPY WITH MARRIED ANOTHER GIRL AND I CANT SEEM TO GET OVER IT OR MOVE ON EVEN AFTER YEARS



Submitted May 24, 2019 at 05:49AM

I REALLY NEED TO KNOW IF ANYONE HAS EXPERIENCED A LOSS LIKE THIS AND HOW DO YOU CONTINUE TO MOVE ON WITHOUT BEING MISERABLE INSIDE!Long story made short, I don't believe in love at first site or the idea that you have one soul mate. At least, I thought I didn't. Until I met this one guy.He through me off completely. The first time we every talked we ended up chatting for 6 hours and it felt like seconds had gone by. The first time we met it was like a scene from a movie in the way he looked at me and the way I felt. I honestly didnt believe I could ever feel the way he made me feel. We both became obsessed with each other and couldn't spend enough time together. There was this insane chemistry we had on every level. I couldn't believe I met someone like this. For the first time ever, I felt 100% confident that I was dating the man I could die happy with.On our second date I asked him about his past, he mentioned he had been engaged when he was younger, but she cheated and they broke up and they were no longer in contact. He claimed to be 100% done with that relationship.He told me her name so I looked to see if he still had her on instagram . He did, but by the end of the week he unfollowed her! Which gave me so much confidence that he really was leaving her behind and ready to move on with me. After all, he said they had not spoken in over a year.A week later I get a text from him saying he can not continue seeing me. I asked why and he gave me some lame excuse. I checked his instagram and sure enough.......HE RE-FOLLOWED HIS EX!I then knew that she most likely reached out again after he unfollowed her and this time it worked.I couldn't believe it....the only man I felt this crazy connection with.....leaving me for his cheating ex?!? I WAS A TRAIN WRECK EMOTIONALLY! My heart was in my stomach for weeks. I got little to no sleep for weeks. Ive never been depressed, but this caused me to go into a deep depression. I almost lost by job. I rear ended a car falling asleep on the way to work, I was so sleep depraved. I couldn't beg for him back, he wanted to be with her. But I still was so madly in Love with him.A year later, they are engaged ....I slipped into a depression again when I heard the news. I cried for days.Every time I try to go on a date and try to move on...no one compares to him. AND BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY IM TRYING TO NOT COMPARE AND MOVE ON!Today I found out.....They are married now and I AM A MESS! Knowing the one man I absolutely fell in love with is the husband of some girl who cheated on him before! I want him to want me but its too late. I feel like ....I will never met someone like him. I just want him and I cant move on. Im on dating apps but no one is like him. Sometimes I can go a week without thinking of him.....but thats as good as it getsIt has been almost 3 years now and I cant get over it. HELP......ANYONE ELSE GOING THROUGH THIS? Just to know I am not alone would help me not to feel so pathetic and crazy. Im a very strong independent women. Enneagram 8. I'm not use to feeling like this. It Is Hell!I feel like Im going to die knowing the only man I Loved, I couldn't spend my life with. Almost every day I think of how I could have prevented losing him. What do I do?PS - I have already invested into grief counseling.....with no luckalso tried just not thinking about it and moving on....but its always a temporary fix....TL;DR: THE ONLY MAN IVE EVER BEEN GENUINELY HAPPY WITH MARRIED ANOTHER GIRL AND I CANT SEEM TO GET OVER IT OR MOVE ON EVEN AFTER YEARS
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