Another one bites the dust

A friend got into a long term relationship recently.

Another friend got engaged recently.

Yet another friend is about to propose and just bought a ring.

And I’m sitting. Home. Alone. Drinking an entire bottle of wine to myself. Swiping on bumble, getting basically what could be screenshot directly to r/trashy .

I have tried putting myself out there multiple times. I’ve accepted dates from guys at the gym, friends of friends, bumble, work.

I keep getting manipulated, lied to, treated like dirt, treated like a slut/whore/what have you. I. Am. So. Sick. Of. This.

Four people at work are getting married this year. I’m surrounded by marriage talk. “You’ll find someone.” ... “don’t worry your time will come.” ....say the people who are in relationships. Who are moving in with spouses. One SO bought her a new car. Another guy is working 60 hours a week to pay for the wedding so “she doesn’t have to.”

What am I doing wrong? Do I settle? Do I deal with manipulation and gaslighting, being treated like I’m 13 or a fuckbuddy?

The last guy I was interested in lied to me repeatedly about stories of his past and getting an STD test. The guy before that refused to meet me for a date but asked me multiple times to go over and fuck. Even asked to put it in my ass when I blatantly said that even if i did want to that I’m on my period so can’t/won’t.

I’m just devastated. And I know what people will comment, “take a break! Focus on yourself!” I do. I take dance lessons. I go to art classes. I go to work conferences. I go to music events. I bake. I hike. I go to local farm festivals and I go out with friends and see movies by myself and I take myself out to dinner and I go to the gym often. I went 23 months once without sex. I went 18 months without sex shortly after. I don’t fuck around. I don’t understand how I give that vibe to people.

I don’t understand how I’m alone. I read brains during surgery. I’m outgoing, and a lot of people seem to like me. My phone is hot with notifications, texts and snaps and facebook and invitations and etc. I keep as busy as possible to stay sane. But I’m still so. Fucking. Alone. I’m still sitting at home on a night off work drinking a whole bottle of wine writing this.

Thanks for reading 😢

Submitted May 24, 2019 at 05:13AM

A friend got into a long term relationship recently.Another friend got engaged recently.Yet another friend is about to propose and just bought a ring.And I’m sitting. Home. Alone. Drinking an entire bottle of wine to myself. Swiping on bumble, getting basically what could be screenshot directly to r/trashy .I have tried putting myself out there multiple times. I’ve accepted dates from guys at the gym, friends of friends, bumble, work.I keep getting manipulated, lied to, treated like dirt, treated like a slut/whore/what have you. I. Am. So. Sick. Of. This.Four people at work are getting married this year. I’m surrounded by marriage talk. “You’ll find someone.” ... “don’t worry your time will come.” ....say the people who are in relationships. Who are moving in with spouses. One SO bought her a new car. Another guy is working 60 hours a week to pay for the wedding so “she doesn’t have to.”What am I doing wrong? Do I settle? Do I deal with manipulation and gaslighting, being treated like I’m 13 or a fuckbuddy?The last guy I was interested in lied to me repeatedly about stories of his past and getting an STD test. The guy before that refused to meet me for a date but asked me multiple times to go over and fuck. Even asked to put it in my ass when I blatantly said that even if i did want to that I’m on my period so can’t/won’t.I’m just devastated. And I know what people will comment, “take a break! Focus on yourself!” I do. I take dance lessons. I go to art classes. I go to work conferences. I go to music events. I bake. I hike. I go to local farm festivals and I go out with friends and see movies by myself and I take myself out to dinner and I go to the gym often. I went 23 months once without sex. I went 18 months without sex shortly after. I don’t fuck around. I don’t understand how I give that vibe to people.I don’t understand how I’m alone. I read brains during surgery. I’m outgoing, and a lot of people seem to like me. My phone is hot with notifications, texts and snaps and facebook and invitations and etc. I keep as busy as possible to stay sane. But I’m still so. Fucking. Alone. I’m still sitting at home on a night off work drinking a whole bottle of wine writing this.Thanks for reading 😢