How do I stop overthinking this?

Hey all, I’ve really enjoyed reading this subreddit over the last few months. First time posting.

I’m mainly making this post as I need a place to put my thoughts to paper. I feel like I’m definitely overthinking this situation and could use an outside perspective. I’m a 29M and have gotten back into dating at the start of this year. Probably to no one’s surprise here, it hasn’t gone that well lol. However, I recently met a woman that I’ve fallen pretty hard for and probably way too fast.

We had a solid first date with good conversation and chemistry so I asked her out again. The second date was a few days later. It went extremely well and lasted around 6 hours. We ended up at her place after she suggested heading back to her place rather than doing what I had planned for the second part of the date. We shared a lot of very personal experiences and made out. I realized that I liked her way too much after this date and was falling hard.

Third date happened roughly a week later. I had an awesome time with her and in the heat of the moment I confessed to her that I really liked her while we were laying in bed (no sex). Looking back, I think that this was a mistake and way too forward for a third date, but it felt right at the time and I was being honest to a question she asked me. She actually admitted to feeling the same for me as well. I then said that this might be too forward but that I’d really like to see her the next day. She hemmed and hawed and said that she was really busy but would let me know. I got a text the next day saying that she couldn’t make that day or the rest of the week work. I let her know that it wasn't a problem and that I’d be free over the weekend and to let me know when she’s free and we’d figure something out. This was a few days ago and since then, radio silence from her end. She is really bad at getting back to people over texts per herself and was with me previously when making plans for the 2nd and 3rd dates. So I’m not super surprised she hasn’t gotten back to me yet.

Still, despite not being definitively rejected by her, I can’t help but feel anxious, disappointed and like I’m being rejected after a few amazing dates together. I’m really struggling with overthinking and going over everything about the last date and our interactions, namely, me telling her I liked her and asking to see her the next day.

I know that the answer to this problem is pretty simple. I just need to contact her again (I hate being the one to text twice in a row without a response from the other person) and ask if she’d like to go out or see me again. If not, no worries, I understand. I guess I’m just afraid that I screwed up by being excited for something that I felt was going really well and being a little too forward in the moment.

Anyways, I already feel better about it all getting it written down and off of my chest. I’m definitely overthinking this right?

Submitted May 24, 2019 at 03:55AM

Hey all, I’ve really enjoyed reading this subreddit over the last few months. First time posting.I’m mainly making this post as I need a place to put my thoughts to paper. I feel like I’m definitely overthinking this situation and could use an outside perspective. I’m a 29M and have gotten back into dating at the start of this year. Probably to no one’s surprise here, it hasn’t gone that well lol. However, I recently met a woman that I’ve fallen pretty hard for and probably way too fast.We had a solid first date with good conversation and chemistry so I asked her out again. The second date was a few days later. It went extremely well and lasted around 6 hours. We ended up at her place after she suggested heading back to her place rather than doing what I had planned for the second part of the date. We shared a lot of very personal experiences and made out. I realized that I liked her way too much after this date and was falling hard.Third date happened roughly a week later. I had an awesome time with her and in the heat of the moment I confessed to her that I really liked her while we were laying in bed (no sex). Looking back, I think that this was a mistake and way too forward for a third date, but it felt right at the time and I was being honest to a question she asked me. She actually admitted to feeling the same for me as well. I then said that this might be too forward but that I’d really like to see her the next day. She hemmed and hawed and said that she was really busy but would let me know. I got a text the next day saying that she couldn’t make that day or the rest of the week work. I let her know that it wasn't a problem and that I’d be free over the weekend and to let me know when she’s free and we’d figure something out. This was a few days ago and since then, radio silence from her end. She is really bad at getting back to people over texts per herself and was with me previously when making plans for the 2nd and 3rd dates. So I’m not super surprised she hasn’t gotten back to me yet.Still, despite not being definitively rejected by her, I can’t help but feel anxious, disappointed and like I’m being rejected after a few amazing dates together. I’m really struggling with overthinking and going over everything about the last date and our interactions, namely, me telling her I liked her and asking to see her the next day.I know that the answer to this problem is pretty simple. I just need to contact her again (I hate being the one to text twice in a row without a response from the other person) and ask if she’d like to go out or see me again. If not, no worries, I understand. I guess I’m just afraid that I screwed up by being excited for something that I felt was going really well and being a little too forward in the moment.Anyways, I already feel better about it all getting it written down and off of my chest. I’m definitely overthinking this right?