How much affection do you show your spouse?

My wife and I have noticed something that seems odd to us in relationships of some of our friends, and I'm curious as to whether it is normal. She told me today that both of my wife's closest friends don't say I love you to their partners. Earlier today, one of her friend's partner was going away for the night. He came to the park where they were with the kids to say goodbye, but there was no hug, kiss or "I love you." She has noticed other friends don't really appear to say I love you or show signs of affection to their spouse.

This has got me thinking. I don't really notice this in other people's relationships either. I don't think I've ever heard a close friend of mine say "I love you" to his girlfriend, nor show any signs of physical affection despite us hanging out together quite a bit.

Meanwhile, my wife and I never greet each other or say goodbye/goodnight without a cuddle and a kiss. We always say I love you at the end of phone calls, and on messages. If we're out at a games night, we'll give each other a quick touch on the shoulder as we walk past each other, or a occasionally a quick kiss.

Now I'm curious: Would people consider us as weird. Are other people more reticent to show affection to their partners around other people? Couples who would describe their marriage as healthy, which of these is closer to the norm for you?

I just want to clarify that I'm not judging other people's relationships, nor am I wishing to change mine. Nor am I talking about being constantly all over each other - we have plenty of time apart, and we're always comfortable to get some space away from each other, even when we're out together. But couples not seeming to show any signs of affection to each other seems strange to me, and I'm just curious as to what is the norm for people outside my own experience.



Submitted May 23, 2019 at 06:45PM

My wife and I have noticed something that seems odd to us in relationships of some of our friends, and I'm curious as to whether it is normal. She told me today that both of my wife's closest friends don't say I love you to their partners. Earlier today, one of her friend's partner was going away for the night. He came to the park where they were with the kids to say goodbye, but there was no hug, kiss or "I love you." She has noticed other friends don't really appear to say I love you or show signs of affection to their spouse.This has got me thinking. I don't really notice this in other people's relationships either. I don't think I've ever heard a close friend of mine say "I love you" to his girlfriend, nor show any signs of physical affection despite us hanging out together quite a bit.Meanwhile, my wife and I never greet each other or say goodbye/goodnight without a cuddle and a kiss. We always say I love you at the end of phone calls, and on messages. If we're out at a games night, we'll give each other a quick touch on the shoulder as we walk past each other, or a occasionally a quick kiss.Now I'm curious: Would people consider us as weird. Are other people more reticent to show affection to their partners around other people? Couples who would describe their marriage as healthy, which of these is closer to the norm for you?I just want to clarify that I'm not judging other people's relationships, nor am I wishing to change mine. Nor am I talking about being constantly all over each other - we have plenty of time apart, and we're always comfortable to get some space away from each other, even when we're out together. But couples not seeming to show any signs of affection to each other seems strange to me, and I'm just curious as to what is the norm for people outside my own experience.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Add Comments, Posts, Links... etc.

Popular posts from this blog

The difference between being right and being understood

My boyfriend and I are 28. We’ve been together for about 1.5 years and recently moved in together. He’s a pretty patient and easygoing person (Type B) whereas I’m more particular (Type A). Of course there are two sides to every trait, and my Type A nature benefits us in some ways too. Like all couples, we have differences in perspective or preference. When this happens, he will usually say something like “I disagree (with your perspective) but fine.” I tend to push the issue in an attempt to get him to understand where I’m coming from. This escalates the disagreement into a fight because he perceives it as me trying to be “right”. I truly just want to be understood (and I want to understand where he’s coming from) so I’m looking for more of a dialogue whereas he avoids conflict and just wants it to be over as quickly as possible. His general approach is “agree to disagree” but that doesn’t make sense to me when it’s an issue that will keep coming up and requires compromise. I’m n
Read more

My (27f) gf (27f) is getting tired of me not sharing intimate/ personal info about me

I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love with her, however I can not seem to open up... and I can tell it’s frustrating to her by the way she tells me it bothers her that she feels she’s the only one committed and the one that’s always sharing... At this point I don’t even know if it is that I’ve gotten too used to it, to the point I’ve became lazy to talk about myself or give any genuine personal opinion... it sucks, really, I need to communicate better... Where do I start? Tl;dr: I can’t be completely intimate with my gf and its frustrating her, I need to communicate better because I really love her... where to start? Submitted April 25, 2019 at 06:02AM I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love
Read more

My (23M) girlfriend (25F) relationship is confusing to me. I might be the problem, or maybe we are just incompatible.

I met my girlfriend after a few serious breakups that led me to change both intentionally and unintentionally over a few years. For better and for worse. She had just gotten out of an engagement with a verbally and physically abusive man who had a cocaine problem. We have been together about 8 months now. We hit it off and spent a lot of time together but she began to push our relationship as if there were a time clock for milestones. I was pressed beyond my comfort zone and went with it because of my affection for her. My living situation fell apart and I lost a few thousand dollars to shit roommates right around the time she and I met and she offered to let me stay with her. I agreed with some resistance. I pay for food, help her with bills, and throw money toward rent while trying to get back on my feet. As long as we have been together she has gotten more possessive, angry, and irrational. She is dealing with shit from her engagement and I feel shes looking for a level of seriou
Read more