How much affection do you show your spouse?

My wife and I have noticed something that seems odd to us in relationships of some of our friends, and I'm curious as to whether it is normal. She told me today that both of my wife's closest friends don't say I love you to their partners. Earlier today, one of her friend's partner was going away for the night. He came to the park where they were with the kids to say goodbye, but there was no hug, kiss or "I love you." She has noticed other friends don't really appear to say I love you or show signs of affection to their spouse.

This has got me thinking. I don't really notice this in other people's relationships either. I don't think I've ever heard a close friend of mine say "I love you" to his girlfriend, nor show any signs of physical affection despite us hanging out together quite a bit.

Meanwhile, my wife and I never greet each other or say goodbye/goodnight without a cuddle and a kiss. We always say I love you at the end of phone calls, and on messages. If we're out at a games night, we'll give each other a quick touch on the shoulder as we walk past each other, or a occasionally a quick kiss.

Now I'm curious: Would people consider us as weird. Are other people more reticent to show affection to their partners around other people? Couples who would describe their marriage as healthy, which of these is closer to the norm for you?

I just want to clarify that I'm not judging other people's relationships, nor am I wishing to change mine. Nor am I talking about being constantly all over each other - we have plenty of time apart, and we're always comfortable to get some space away from each other, even when we're out together. But couples not seeming to show any signs of affection to each other seems strange to me, and I'm just curious as to what is the norm for people outside my own experience.



Submitted May 23, 2019 at 06:45PM

My wife and I have noticed something that seems odd to us in relationships of some of our friends, and I'm curious as to whether it is normal. She told me today that both of my wife's closest friends don't say I love you to their partners. Earlier today, one of her friend's partner was going away for the night. He came to the park where they were with the kids to say goodbye, but there was no hug, kiss or "I love you." She has noticed other friends don't really appear to say I love you or show signs of affection to their spouse.This has got me thinking. I don't really notice this in other people's relationships either. I don't think I've ever heard a close friend of mine say "I love you" to his girlfriend, nor show any signs of physical affection despite us hanging out together quite a bit.Meanwhile, my wife and I never greet each other or say goodbye/goodnight without a cuddle and a kiss. We always say I love you at the end of phone calls, and on messages. If we're out at a games night, we'll give each other a quick touch on the shoulder as we walk past each other, or a occasionally a quick kiss.Now I'm curious: Would people consider us as weird. Are other people more reticent to show affection to their partners around other people? Couples who would describe their marriage as healthy, which of these is closer to the norm for you?I just want to clarify that I'm not judging other people's relationships, nor am I wishing to change mine. Nor am I talking about being constantly all over each other - we have plenty of time apart, and we're always comfortable to get some space away from each other, even when we're out together. But couples not seeming to show any signs of affection to each other seems strange to me, and I'm just curious as to what is the norm for people outside my own experience.
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