What do I do? I don’t want her to suffer.

I don’t know where else to go so I figured why not try here. This is gonna be a tough one to unpack, so here goes nothing. I’m a Male 19 freshman at uni and I play video games a friend of mine recommended that we get this new game coming to Xbox. And we start looking for a group to join up with. We find this group and that’s when I meet her (F23) well just call her Sena she is in a different county than me but same time zone. We join up in a party and things seem to hit off really well I stick with this group for a while, until we get our buts kicked by a better group. I message the guy who beat us and say that his group is amazing he says that I should join his group. I agree, I needed to get better at PVP to protect my closer friends, her included. I agree and I want to take Sena and friend with me. The group leader flips out that I try to take Sena. I get kicked out, the rest of that group realizes that this group leader is a control freak. I start messaging Sena more and more through discord. We really hit it off we talk for a long time we swapped pictures of ourselves. After a few weeks I told her that I like her, (she is the nicest and most caring person I have ever met, she has had such a hard life and I feel so bad for her and want to make her happy) she says that she feels the same way, but there is a catch. She is in an arranged marriage with this guy, I’ll call him Brad(M28). I have a huge love hate relationship with this guy Sena’s adoptive parents met Brad a while before the both passed from cancer. This is very important to Sena as she did everything to help her parents. He has watched over her and helped her in a lot in all ways. Until one day brad lies to her. He was hitting on other girls while still seeing Sena. When she found out Brad denied it, Sena showed him proof that he was doing this with messages and shuts him out. By this time her parents have just now passed, and Brad is the only real family that Sena sees is there for her. I have such a hatred towards Brad for doing this to someone as kind as her. After what she has been through she deserves to be happy. Brad and her do not live together. This arranged marriage is a bit different, it’s a contract that say if she doesn’t marry anyone until the age of 28 she will marry Brad. I feel like I am getting between the two, but I refuse to give up, I truly love her. But I would never make her choose between us. Brad is a manipulative prick anytime that Sena doesn’t respond to his messages he calls her family telling them that something is wrong, she doesn’t want to make her few family members worry so she is forced to talk to him. She admits that she is constantly wrong and hates to argue with Brad. I tell her that is wrong of him to do, but she says that she is in the wrong and he is doing this to help her. Brad won’t let her Skype without him present. But we still talk over discord or on Xbox party. She tells me that Brad is going up to her country soon and might stay with her. I feel immense dread at this point, but I want her to be happy so I say nothing. We talk more and more and we get closer. Sena tells me that I should look for someone else that things just won’t work out for us in that way. She says that because of how close we are she sees me as family. That’s where I am at now, I don’t know what to do, I love her so much, I want her to be happy. But I am terrified that she will get into an abusive relationship and I will lose her forever. There is more to this, but I’ve gone on long enough. I will revel more if need be in the future . Sorry if formatting is off I am on mobile.

TL;DR I met someone who I love more than anything, but a possible abusive relationship can come to her in the future.

Submitted May 11, 2019 at 06:25AM

I don’t know where else to go so I figured why not try here. This is gonna be a tough one to unpack, so here goes nothing. I’m a Male 19 freshman at uni and I play video games a friend of mine recommended that we get this new game coming to Xbox. And we start looking for a group to join up with. We find this group and that’s when I meet her (F23) well just call her Sena she is in a different county than me but same time zone. We join up in a party and things seem to hit off really well I stick with this group for a while, until we get our buts kicked by a better group. I message the guy who beat us and say that his group is amazing he says that I should join his group. I agree, I needed to get better at PVP to protect my closer friends, her included. I agree and I want to take Sena and friend with me. The group leader flips out that I try to take Sena. I get kicked out, the rest of that group realizes that this group leader is a control freak. I start messaging Sena more and more through discord. We really hit it off we talk for a long time we swapped pictures of ourselves. After a few weeks I told her that I like her, (she is the nicest and most caring person I have ever met, she has had such a hard life and I feel so bad for her and want to make her happy) she says that she feels the same way, but there is a catch. She is in an arranged marriage with this guy, I’ll call him Brad(M28). I have a huge love hate relationship with this guy Sena’s adoptive parents met Brad a while before the both passed from cancer. This is very important to Sena as she did everything to help her parents. He has watched over her and helped her in a lot in all ways. Until one day brad lies to her. He was hitting on other girls while still seeing Sena. When she found out Brad denied it, Sena showed him proof that he was doing this with messages and shuts him out. By this time her parents have just now passed, and Brad is the only real family that Sena sees is there for her. I have such a hatred towards Brad for doing this to someone as kind as her. After what she has been through she deserves to be happy. Brad and her do not live together. This arranged marriage is a bit different, it’s a contract that say if she doesn’t marry anyone until the age of 28 she will marry Brad. I feel like I am getting between the two, but I refuse to give up, I truly love her. But I would never make her choose between us. Brad is a manipulative prick anytime that Sena doesn’t respond to his messages he calls her family telling them that something is wrong, she doesn’t want to make her few family members worry so she is forced to talk to him. She admits that she is constantly wrong and hates to argue with Brad. I tell her that is wrong of him to do, but she says that she is in the wrong and he is doing this to help her. Brad won’t let her Skype without him present. But we still talk over discord or on Xbox party. She tells me that Brad is going up to her country soon and might stay with her. I feel immense dread at this point, but I want her to be happy so I say nothing. We talk more and more and we get closer. Sena tells me that I should look for someone else that things just won’t work out for us in that way. She says that because of how close we are she sees me as family. That’s where I am at now, I don’t know what to do, I love her so much, I want her to be happy. But I am terrified that she will get into an abusive relationship and I will lose her forever. There is more to this, but I’ve gone on long enough. I will revel more if need be in the future . Sorry if formatting is off I am on mobile.TL;DR I met someone who I love more than anything, but a possible abusive relationship can come to her in the future.