I am planning to break up with my boyfriend but I need to know, is it a bad move to do it a week before our anniversary?

TRIGGER WARNING FOR DEPRESSION/ ANXIETY/ PANIC ATTACKS. BRIEF MENTION OF UNDERAGE DRINKING.

I am 15 and nonbinary (they/them). My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years (May 26) A bit of backstory on both of us: He is 15 and FTM trans in an unsupportive house hold. He’s been dealing with depression for about a year and a half. I have also been dealing with depression and anxietyfor almost 2 years. The thing is with my boyfriend, he isn’t an “empath” where I look at someone and say “that person looks vaguely unhappy I’ll go try to help”, he needs to be directly told if someone is upset and even then he has a hard time giving support. recently I haven’t been able to give much because of my own mental state and my best friend has started to support him more and more. It’s gotten to the point where I talk to him at best once a week and see him at best once a month. He can’t deal well with me not initiating conversations, and I can’t initiate conversations because of how emotionally drained I am and how isolating I am. I want to talk to him. But I can’t do it. It’s so hard.

I think we need to break up. I think it would do him good to be able to go about his life and not have to be trying to support me too. I think it would do me good, because I wouldn’t be constantly worried about him or him burning out my best friend. I also think I need time out of a relationship in general. It’s hard, it’s pressure and I can’t deal with it in my current mental state.

I love him to bits. I can see myself spending my life with him but not this way. We need time to recover and heal and I wish he could see how much this is dragging us both down but he is being optimistic. So, 8 days before our 2 year anniversary, I’m going to do it. I’m going to do it over email, because we have shared other major things over email, and it really is a place we talk serious. I know I can’t do it in person.

PS. Some info I didn’t include earlier but maybe should have. I have been in toxic relationships non stop coming up on two years. I never have many friends and the past two best friends (and now sometimes it feels like my boyfriend rarely but sometimes) have been pretty toxic. He does things like wear multiple chest binders, tell you he’s wearing too many as a joke, and then refuse to take them off. He is so stubborn and when he says things like that I get super worried about him and it often sends me into anxiety/panic attacks. Which I’ve told him. And just a bunch more things that he’ll mention offhandedly are hurting and then refuse to do anything about them. I’m really against underage drinking etc and a conversation I had with him yesterday went Bf lol I just chugged wine The forbidden grape juice Me please don’t have any more... Bf idk it was kind of good And just back and forth

Anyway I’m sorry this is so long but I want to know am I doing this too close to an anniversary? Am I just nitpicking this stuff? I don’t know at this point. I’m scared I’ll hurt him and he won’t trust relationships like I don’t trust friendships... Im starting to think I shouldn’t do this. Shouldn’t break up with him. He doesn’t deserve it...

TLDR: my bf and I have been having issues with communication among other things and even though I love him, staying with him can’t help us. But I am planning to end it a week before our two year anniversary and that makes me feel like an asshole.

Submitted May 11, 2019 at 06:00AM

TRIGGER WARNING FOR DEPRESSION/ ANXIETY/ PANIC ATTACKS. BRIEF MENTION OF UNDERAGE DRINKING.I am 15 and nonbinary (they/them). My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years (May 26) A bit of backstory on both of us: He is 15 and FTM trans in an unsupportive house hold. He’s been dealing with depression for about a year and a half. I have also been dealing with depression and anxietyfor almost 2 years. The thing is with my boyfriend, he isn’t an “empath” where I look at someone and say “that person looks vaguely unhappy I’ll go try to help”, he needs to be directly told if someone is upset and even then he has a hard time giving support. recently I haven’t been able to give much because of my own mental state and my best friend has started to support him more and more. It’s gotten to the point where I talk to him at best once a week and see him at best once a month. He can’t deal well with me not initiating conversations, and I can’t initiate conversations because of how emotionally drained I am and how isolating I am. I want to talk to him. But I can’t do it. It’s so hard.I think we need to break up. I think it would do him good to be able to go about his life and not have to be trying to support me too. I think it would do me good, because I wouldn’t be constantly worried about him or him burning out my best friend. I also think I need time out of a relationship in general. It’s hard, it’s pressure and I can’t deal with it in my current mental state.I love him to bits. I can see myself spending my life with him but not this way. We need time to recover and heal and I wish he could see how much this is dragging us both down but he is being optimistic. So, 8 days before our 2 year anniversary, I’m going to do it. I’m going to do it over email, because we have shared other major things over email, and it really is a place we talk serious. I know I can’t do it in person.PS. Some info I didn’t include earlier but maybe should have. I have been in toxic relationships non stop coming up on two years. I never have many friends and the past two best friends (and now sometimes it feels like my boyfriend rarely but sometimes) have been pretty toxic. He does things like wear multiple chest binders, tell you he’s wearing too many as a joke, and then refuse to take them off. He is so stubborn and when he says things like that I get super worried about him and it often sends me into anxiety/panic attacks. Which I’ve told him. And just a bunch more things that he’ll mention offhandedly are hurting and then refuse to do anything about them. I’m really against underage drinking etc and a conversation I had with him yesterday went Bf lol I just chugged wine The forbidden grape juice Me please don’t have any more... Bf idk it was kind of good And just back and forthAnyway I’m sorry this is so long but I want to know am I doing this too close to an anniversary? Am I just nitpicking this stuff? I don’t know at this point. I’m scared I’ll hurt him and he won’t trust relationships like I don’t trust friendships... Im starting to think I shouldn’t do this. Shouldn’t break up with him. He doesn’t deserve it...TLDR: my bf and I have been having issues with communication among other things and even though I love him, staying with him can’t help us. But I am planning to end it a week before our two year anniversary and that makes me feel like an asshole.