In Dating, You Can’t Change Them

This is a message to all of you who think you can change somebody.

You think you have those powers, those magical powers of being a change agent, and being able to change somebody.

But, here’s reality for you.

You can’t change somebody.

You can be their cheerleader.

You can support them.

You can hope and wish and pray, and say man, if they only would change this about themselves, they’d be great to be in a relationship with.

Well, let me tell you something: they may like who they are.

That’s right.

They may like being stuck. They may like being overweight. They may like everything about them.

The thing is, you’re settling.

It’s something I hear from clients all the time: I just don’t like their body.

If I can just get them to go to the gym, they’d be great.

Well, here’s a dose of reality for you…

If you don’t like their body, and they’re not going to the gym for themselves, and they weren’t before you met them, there’s no way in the world you’re going to get them to do it for you.

And the fact of the matter is, you’re just going to dislike their body the longer you’re with them.

Because they don’t have the same workout ethic that you have. They don’t have the same body that you want and you’re not attracted to their body.

It’s not going to change, it’s just going to magnify, and that’s just one example.

The bad habits that you want to ignore, the things that they do in the beginning, you just ignore it because you’re settling.

Well, that shit is just going to magnify because you can’t change that person.

That person is who they are.

They might be content with who they are

They might be happy with who they are.

Now, I’m not saying that you can’t support them, because if they really want to change, you can be there to support them and encourage them and inspire them.

If they want to start doing the things that you want for them, because they want to do it for themselves, then you’ve got a winner.

Then you’ve got somebody who you actually can support. You actually can help them. You actually can co-conspire and co-inspire with them.

That’s the only way to do it.

Otherwise, you’re just going to be fooling yourself day in and day out.

What you don’t like about them and what you think you can change about them is just going to magnify when you realize that they do not want to change that about themselves, and they don’t have the power to do it.

Think about it the next time you meet somebody and you settle for something that you don’t want, or settle for somebody you’re half-attracted to.

It’s just going to magnify and get worse, unless you’ve met somebody who truly is inspired to do the things that you see in them, because they’re doing it for themselves.

Otherwise, you’re going to drive yourself nuts, and you don’t want that.

The post In Dating, You Can’t Change Them appeared first on David Wygant.

May 09, 2019 at 04:51PM