My [28F] parents [55m&f] are divorcing - need help navigating

So ya basically my parents have finally decided to divorce. I’m super sad but I think it’s the right decision for everyone. My dad had a traumatic brain injury 5 years ago due to a bicycle accident and nothing has been the same since. The event was traumatic for our whole family but my dads frontal lobe was affected by the brain injury and his personality has changed drastically. The problem is, he disagrees, refuses therapy, and is extremely stubborn in general. I have begged him to get therapy, to consider that his behavior is affected by his brain injury, but he refuses to even confront the issue. My mom is beside herself at losing her husband and she’s tried to do everything for him, but their relationship is emotionally abusive at best at this point. My dad has become controlling and gets mad if she does anything he considers wrong, from not taking out the trash enough to hanging out with her friends too often...it’s insane. I know she’ll be better off without him for sure, but I just hate feeling like this was all so avoidable if not for the stupid fucking head injury.

I guess I’m mostly venting, but has anyone else ever been through this or have any advice on how to deal? I want to support my mom as much as possible while also trying to maintain a decent relationship with my dad. Thanks for your help.

TL;D4R: my dad has a brain injury that lead to personality change and now my parents are getting divorced after 35 years. Advice on dealing with this gracefully is much appreciated.



Submitted May 11, 2019 at 06:28AM

So ya basically my parents have finally decided to divorce. I’m super sad but I think it’s the right decision for everyone. My dad had a traumatic brain injury 5 years ago due to a bicycle accident and nothing has been the same since. The event was traumatic for our whole family but my dads frontal lobe was affected by the brain injury and his personality has changed drastically. The problem is, he disagrees, refuses therapy, and is extremely stubborn in general. I have begged him to get therapy, to consider that his behavior is affected by his brain injury, but he refuses to even confront the issue. My mom is beside herself at losing her husband and she’s tried to do everything for him, but their relationship is emotionally abusive at best at this point. My dad has become controlling and gets mad if she does anything he considers wrong, from not taking out the trash enough to hanging out with her friends too often...it’s insane. I know she’ll be better off without him for sure, but I just hate feeling like this was all so avoidable if not for the stupid fucking head injury.I guess I’m mostly venting, but has anyone else ever been through this or have any advice on how to deal? I want to support my mom as much as possible while also trying to maintain a decent relationship with my dad. Thanks for your help.TL;D4R: my dad has a brain injury that lead to personality change and now my parents are getting divorced after 35 years. Advice on dealing with this gracefully is much appreciated.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Add Comments, Posts, Links... etc.

Popular posts from this blog

The difference between being right and being understood

My boyfriend and I are 28. We’ve been together for about 1.5 years and recently moved in together. He’s a pretty patient and easygoing person (Type B) whereas I’m more particular (Type A). Of course there are two sides to every trait, and my Type A nature benefits us in some ways too. Like all couples, we have differences in perspective or preference. When this happens, he will usually say something like “I disagree (with your perspective) but fine.” I tend to push the issue in an attempt to get him to understand where I’m coming from. This escalates the disagreement into a fight because he perceives it as me trying to be “right”. I truly just want to be understood (and I want to understand where he’s coming from) so I’m looking for more of a dialogue whereas he avoids conflict and just wants it to be over as quickly as possible. His general approach is “agree to disagree” but that doesn’t make sense to me when it’s an issue that will keep coming up and requires compromise. I’m n...
Read more

My (27f) gf (27f) is getting tired of me not sharing intimate/ personal info about me

I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love with her, however I can not seem to open up... and I can tell it’s frustrating to her by the way she tells me it bothers her that she feels she’s the only one committed and the one that’s always sharing... At this point I don’t even know if it is that I’ve gotten too used to it, to the point I’ve became lazy to talk about myself or give any genuine personal opinion... it sucks, really, I need to communicate better... Where do I start? Tl;dr: I can’t be completely intimate with my gf and its frustrating her, I need to communicate better because I really love her... where to start? Submitted April 25, 2019 at 06:02AM I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love ...
Read more

My (23M) girlfriend (25F) relationship is confusing to me. I might be the problem, or maybe we are just incompatible.

I met my girlfriend after a few serious breakups that led me to change both intentionally and unintentionally over a few years. For better and for worse. She had just gotten out of an engagement with a verbally and physically abusive man who had a cocaine problem. We have been together about 8 months now. We hit it off and spent a lot of time together but she began to push our relationship as if there were a time clock for milestones. I was pressed beyond my comfort zone and went with it because of my affection for her. My living situation fell apart and I lost a few thousand dollars to shit roommates right around the time she and I met and she offered to let me stay with her. I agreed with some resistance. I pay for food, help her with bills, and throw money toward rent while trying to get back on my feet. As long as we have been together she has gotten more possessive, angry, and irrational. She is dealing with shit from her engagement and I feel shes looking for a level of seriou...
Read more