My [28F] parents [55m&f] are divorcing - need help navigating

So ya basically my parents have finally decided to divorce. I’m super sad but I think it’s the right decision for everyone. My dad had a traumatic brain injury 5 years ago due to a bicycle accident and nothing has been the same since. The event was traumatic for our whole family but my dads frontal lobe was affected by the brain injury and his personality has changed drastically. The problem is, he disagrees, refuses therapy, and is extremely stubborn in general. I have begged him to get therapy, to consider that his behavior is affected by his brain injury, but he refuses to even confront the issue. My mom is beside herself at losing her husband and she’s tried to do everything for him, but their relationship is emotionally abusive at best at this point. My dad has become controlling and gets mad if she does anything he considers wrong, from not taking out the trash enough to hanging out with her friends too often...it’s insane. I know she’ll be better off without him for sure, but I just hate feeling like this was all so avoidable if not for the stupid fucking head injury.

I guess I’m mostly venting, but has anyone else ever been through this or have any advice on how to deal? I want to support my mom as much as possible while also trying to maintain a decent relationship with my dad. Thanks for your help.

TL;D4R: my dad has a brain injury that lead to personality change and now my parents are getting divorced after 35 years. Advice on dealing with this gracefully is much appreciated.



Submitted May 11, 2019 at 06:28AM

So ya basically my parents have finally decided to divorce. I’m super sad but I think it’s the right decision for everyone. My dad had a traumatic brain injury 5 years ago due to a bicycle accident and nothing has been the same since. The event was traumatic for our whole family but my dads frontal lobe was affected by the brain injury and his personality has changed drastically. The problem is, he disagrees, refuses therapy, and is extremely stubborn in general. I have begged him to get therapy, to consider that his behavior is affected by his brain injury, but he refuses to even confront the issue. My mom is beside herself at losing her husband and she’s tried to do everything for him, but their relationship is emotionally abusive at best at this point. My dad has become controlling and gets mad if she does anything he considers wrong, from not taking out the trash enough to hanging out with her friends too often...it’s insane. I know she’ll be better off without him for sure, but I just hate feeling like this was all so avoidable if not for the stupid fucking head injury.I guess I’m mostly venting, but has anyone else ever been through this or have any advice on how to deal? I want to support my mom as much as possible while also trying to maintain a decent relationship with my dad. Thanks for your help.TL;D4R: my dad has a brain injury that lead to personality change and now my parents are getting divorced after 35 years. Advice on dealing with this gracefully is much appreciated.
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