I don't know what it's like

Reading the stories on this sub is a blessing and a curse. I find it heartwarming reading what people think love is, how in love they are, and how amazing their significant other is. Knowing other people are happy makes me happy. At the same time, though, it pains me because I can't say I know these feelings.

I know what it's like to fall for someone, but I don't know what it's like to have those feelings reciprocated. I don't know what it's like to hold someone's hand and have your heart feel full. I don't know what it's like to look into someone else's eyes and realize they look at you with the same wonderment as you look at them. I don't know what it's like to have another persons body pressed up against you in loving warmth. I don't know what it's like to share little moments of peace. I'm scared I'll never know.

I see all my peers from high school and college in loving relationships, going off getting married, even a few buying houses or moving in together. Much like this sub, it's wonderful seeing all of them go on to be happy, but it's also a painful reminder of my failure to be someone who is good enough to be loved.

I tend not to share this feeling with people because I don't want to come off as lonely/desperate/niceguyish so apologies if I do. Part of me hopes someone reads this and understands that they're not alone and another part of me knows that I'm just venting. Either way, if you've read this far, thank you for reading.

Submitted May 11, 2019 at 06:43AM

Reading the stories on this sub is a blessing and a curse. I find it heartwarming reading what people think love is, how in love they are, and how amazing their significant other is. Knowing other people are happy makes me happy. At the same time, though, it pains me because I can't say I know these feelings.I know what it's like to fall for someone, but I don't know what it's like to have those feelings reciprocated. I don't know what it's like to hold someone's hand and have your heart feel full. I don't know what it's like to look into someone else's eyes and realize they look at you with the same wonderment as you look at them. I don't know what it's like to have another persons body pressed up against you in loving warmth. I don't know what it's like to share little moments of peace. I'm scared I'll never know.I see all my peers from high school and college in loving relationships, going off getting married, even a few buying houses or moving in together. Much like this sub, it's wonderful seeing all of them go on to be happy, but it's also a painful reminder of my failure to be someone who is good enough to be loved.I tend not to share this feeling with people because I don't want to come off as lonely/desperate/niceguyish so apologies if I do. Part of me hopes someone reads this and understands that they're not alone and another part of me knows that I'm just venting. Either way, if you've read this far, thank you for reading.