trying not to be clingy after an extremely codependent relationship

hi y’all. im currently talking to this wonderful guy. goofy, kind, ambitious, and extremely patient and understanding. i’ve been in one “real” relationship prior to this that ended in december. however, that previous relationship was extremely extremely codependent. i’d focus on all of his problems and try to fix them while completely neglecting my own issues, i’d try to save our sinking relationship by throwing my own mental health aside and doing whatever it took (which is why we broke up... we both realized that’s not ok) he wanted to know where i was at all times and would get pissy if i didn’t tell him, there were a lot of trust issues that i’ve (thankfully) worked out with a therapist after we broke up. i’m not completely 100%, but i do want to get back in the game.

so this new guy: i met him on tinder and he’s the sweetest lil goofball i’ve ever met. he goes to the college in planning on attending and we both live in the same area. i don’t wanna fuck this up though because i really really like him. i think about him constantly and i don’t know if that’s a bad thing or not... i’m always checking my phone to see if he’s sent anything or not. i want to get to know him and his life better but i don’t want to cross the boundary of being controlling. i know that i’m a little worried because i don’t know if he’s a serial killer or not (lol) so how do i not fall into those old habits that made my last relationship so.. bad?



Submitted May 30, 2019 at 02:49AM

hi y’all. im currently talking to this wonderful guy. goofy, kind, ambitious, and extremely patient and understanding. i’ve been in one “real” relationship prior to this that ended in december. however, that previous relationship was extremely extremely codependent. i’d focus on all of his problems and try to fix them while completely neglecting my own issues, i’d try to save our sinking relationship by throwing my own mental health aside and doing whatever it took (which is why we broke up... we both realized that’s not ok) he wanted to know where i was at all times and would get pissy if i didn’t tell him, there were a lot of trust issues that i’ve (thankfully) worked out with a therapist after we broke up. i’m not completely 100%, but i do want to get back in the game.so this new guy: i met him on tinder and he’s the sweetest lil goofball i’ve ever met. he goes to the college in planning on attending and we both live in the same area. i don’t wanna fuck this up though because i really really like him. i think about him constantly and i don’t know if that’s a bad thing or not... i’m always checking my phone to see if he’s sent anything or not. i want to get to know him and his life better but i don’t want to cross the boundary of being controlling. i know that i’m a little worried because i don’t know if he’s a serial killer or not (lol) so how do i not fall into those old habits that made my last relationship so.. bad?
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